THE CANDIDATE'S CATECHISM.

Colonist, Volume IV, Issue 433, 17 December 1861, Page 3

THE CANDIDATE'S CATECHISM.

Candidate—Having thus detailed my own political convictions, has any gentleman anything to ask of me ? First Elector—What i 9 your opinion of the Solar System ? C.—That it is arbitrary and o'dfasbioned, and unsuited to the present age. I will do my utmost, if elected, to have the planets plaoad on an equality as regards size and j distance from the sun. Second Elector—Do you approve of the Music of the Spheres ? C.—Certainly not. It is cal« culated only to please the upper class, and, if elected, I will do my utmost to have popular tunes svbsiituted. Third Elector—How about the Equator ? ( C.—lf elected, I will labor night and day to have that odious line of exclusiveuess abrogate,}. Fourth Elector—Will you abolish prinaogenU ture ? G.—lt shall be the aim of my life, if elected, to do so. I consider; that no person b&s

a right to c< me into tbe world before' anybody else. Fifth Elector —Will you put down bad harvests ? ' C.—Bad harvests are caused ly the land of the country being in wrong hands, and, if elected, I will endeavour to rectify ibis terri-. toriul grievance. Sixth Elector —Are you opposed to corujiulsory Vaccinatiou? C.—Decidedly. I know no right that a government has to prevent a fred citizen from being ill with the small-pox if he likes. The great. Mirebeau was so marked. (Exeunt mob, cheering. Then exit candidate, remarking * Walker. I} — Press.

Waikato.—The King mailman, who left Waikato on 9ih October, and was here last Friday, brings intelligence that the Waikatos ate still determined to stand by their King, and to oppose tbe making of roads. They expected a message from Sir George Grey, requiring them to give up their opposition on both grounds, and their answer was quite resolved on. Should the Governor be equally determined, they wish him to give a mouth's notice of war, and intend to ask the King natives throughout (he island to rise in their various localities. Of course there are two parties in such a case, and no doubt in most instances the Maories will prefer going to Waikato to fight there, leaving their land and goods in security till their return, to fighting where they live, and thereby exposing both to jeopardy, as well as their lives. The Wanganui natives are of this opinion, and unless some local provocation should cause a rising here, those who wish to fight intend proceeding to Waikato. This account pi the firm attitude of the King natives is confirmed by John Williams, a Putiki native, who was at Taranaki lately, and whose opinion from what he heard on the journty is, that the King natives will come to no reasonable terms, unless compelled by force. It remains to be seen whether they will continue as defiant, when they come face to face with the certainty of war if they do not yield. It is said that part of the Ngapuhi tribe will join them, the mother of Matutaere, the so-called King, being a step-sister of Hono Heki, tbe great Ngapuhi warrior, and the relationship (thus not being very remote) requiring the rendering oi what aid may be possible in any strait by the one tribe to the other.— Wanganui Chronicle.

A Word for the Parlour-maid.—l like a woman to wait at table. If ever I have .£IO,OOO a year, I mean to have two of tbe smartest and best-looking women instead of footmen, and their livery shall be lavender silk dresses, white silk stockings, and lace caps trimmed with lavender ribands.- There shall be no man-servant ia-doors. Men always have creaky boots. In the event of my absence from home, a steady male of sixty shall sleep in the house, with just courage enough not to put his head under the bedclothes iv case of burglars, and with just v:gour enough to let off a gun. Women uever have creaky shoes.