DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD.

Colonist, Volume III, Issue 215, 11 November 1859, Page 3

DIALOGUES OF THE DEAD.

' ■'(jrroih Punch.) Scene—The lower Regions. Present—Bomba and Louis Philippe. The Shade of Metternich enters^ with an easy but stealthy and cat-like step. Bomba (to Metternich). —Welcome, caro mioi to this lower world. Louis Phillippe.-rWhere only—to parody a wejl known English epitaph—your own diplomacy can be surpassed. Metternich.—rYour Majesty is pleased to compliment. Laudaria laudato. I revere in your Majesty a master in that mystery of state-craft to which I have devoted a long—and, let me hope, notaltogethermisspent—life. But where is the English epitaph you speak of? Louis Phillippe.—On the monument of a musician in Westminster Abbey. Metternich.—Ah!. I did riot visit that building during my residence in London. Ido not care for antiquities or architecture. Besides, I had so much to do at the Foreign-office, I never got further in the daytime than Downing-Btreet. Louis Phillippe.—Of course you visited the Houses of Parliament ? Metternich.Tr-Erequently, and with considerable curiosity, My familiarity with Continental Bureaux had, I thought, abundantly illustrated for me Oxenstiera's famous explanation; but the Houses of Parliament confirmed its truth even more triumphantly. Bomba (brusquely).— Gospetto / What jargon is this? Who ever heard of Oxenstiern or his exclamation? What was it? Metternich.—"Alas! with what little wisdom the world is governed." Your Majesty must have become familiar with the observation—in practice. Bomba.—Yes, I never found it required much brains to deal with my hirbone of Calabrians. But then I had the stick, and the State prisons, and the Police, and Holy Church. Metternich.—Great helps, doubtless; but I fear they have availed your Majesty little more than similar instruments of government have availed my own august Kaiser, in Vienna. Louis Philippe.—l was always, and constitutionally, averse from severity. I trusted to a gentler means of coercion. Metternich.—Self-interest I presume your Majesty means, or what Utopists, call " corruption." lam afraid that most useful means for the maintenance of established authority broke -down in your Majesty's hand as completely as the rougher machinery in ours, and his Majesty's here. Bomba.—Speak for yourself. I kept my rascals down to the last. To be sure, Poerio aud his gaol-birds got safe off to England—may St. Januarius confound it, and its Gladstone and Palmerston—but at least I died a King, and in the odour of sanctity. Metternich.—Your Majesty has my profound respect. I own, though, that the latter fact would not have led me to anticipate the pleasure of this meeting. I have not the advantage of your Majesty's commanding interest with the most Holy Catholic Church—nor (to Louis Phillippe), I fear, had you, Sire. Bomba.—Eh? You mean I ought to have been better lodged— la su— (pointing upwards)— I suppose there has been some mistake about my carta di soggiorno. St Peter wijl set all that right by-andTbye. But, Prince, lam glad of this opportunity of talking with you. I want to know how the world is to be governed now we hay« gone ? Metternich.—A question 1 have frequently put to myself, your Majesty, during the latter years of my life, but without obtaining any satisfactory answer. r Louis Phillippe.—l don't feel so much difficulty; I imagine corruption will still be found an excellent means of obtaining authority in France. It broke down, under me, to be sure; but I was too easy, I ought to have blended a little more ot the/ortiter in re, with my suaviter in modo. Metternich.—Your- Majesty will excuse me, I am sure, if I presume to differ from you. Corruption has, I fear, lost its real efficacy, as a means of governing, no less than force and suppression. The strangest ideas have, somehow, taken root and spread. This notion of nationality for example. How we should have laughed at Vienna, in 1815 if any of the Congress had breathed the word! This feeling —that States are not mere geographical as 3 political entities; that there are s\ich. things as common life, and between nations of the, same, of* quite modern growth, and cannot be dealt with on any of the sound principles of. government recognised till now. And this phantasmal thing called public opinion—which presumes to call monarchs and ministers to question, to sit in judgment even upon congresses, and to be admitted to the confidence of diplomats— how are we to deal with it ? Arid these Utopian ideas of a right in the people to participate in the work of their own government,—this daring habit of questioning absolute authorities in church and State,— Bomba (impatiently.)— Bestemmie ! Metternich.—l am at a loss to conceive nQyir any government but m§?ti,al Jaw Vs\\ ba, £933^, much longer. Bomb.a.rrrA permanent state, of siege must be establisjied everywhere, I hope my Francis will not hesitate, Louis Philippe (shaking his head).—l fear even that will be impossible in France, after the present regime has run its course. As to what is to come in its place, I hazard no conjecture; Davus sum — non (Edipus. Metternich. — "Apres nous ledeluge" Sire, I have often said to my august master, the lab Kaiser, who, you are aware, had certaJr\ $freis4' peculiarities, (touchesh^fore^ea^),' v 5 y v .. Bomba..—^£es-sa##l v ' MdtterhipK^rß.ut1, jf cifflftjss, I had no potion the catasysis waa aoolpse upon our heels—in fact, that I should he called upon to transfer my services from the lato world to this our very agreeable scene of existence (he winces), while it was a,ctu.* ally in progress. Cc pauvre Francis Joseph S Bomba.— Corpo di BqcsQ, \ We are well out of the mess! J don't envy mv successor. Louis Philippe.—l can hardly wish even "my grandson to suceed to our family throne. Metternich.—And if the work of Government be a growing difficulty, the task of diplomacy is daily approaching nearer to an impossibiUty, It Y?aa a delicate business, even when pn.e |$d •tp/redpn. 1 only with Majesty, oftf^ti fcwtiW oy Cab^ets^ibut' n^w ;'th,a> wtfym WQX\ their i%ht to/be considered; (§forv»g§ h.jsshoulders), ma fin •! M $'WfaV6 fas #lffi»*« I dare say I shall be! ab,lp fg make myself useful down here. • Bomba.— Sungue di Giove ! If St Peter don't soon make-arrangements fqr my removal la aw, I shall apply for a vioroyalty under his Majesty of U l&po Jnf&riore. ■■■".,.- Louis Philippe.—Ah! mon cher confrere, when, you have been as long here as I haife, yp^wift,khiw that no services on ea^th ara t^ken into account, ait recoran^e^d^^s|or;emplpymeht!dowtt titoei" But to repave theplace we stand on, } I irWtiognise somfr of my jown good interiHtfns'an\ong!the paving niaterials.-^dreams of tfyaj young time when I was usher ih ti^js^p,. Ahl quelles betises ! • "''' : '"'' '" A \ A^ are, no,t th,p^ some, of tl^'nroiec.ts ojf my. u^v^sity^'days^-rt^efruit^ I qare'saj, of w«h ■B^hjamjn. Constant ? Bali, I' <ks.raqps. W^u^&J^m^ v ••■"''i^Qiflbfl" (Jflft^inif river the;heap).— Diaminel I ifon^ see anything of mine anvong them. Metterhich.—Your Majesty forgets. 11. $^» . fiferiore. is paved exclqsiwlv with intention?.