THE ALDERMAN IN PARLIAMENT.

Colonist, Volume II, Issue 176, 28 June 1859, Page 4

THE ALDERMAN IN PARLIAMENT.

Alderman Tubes is a very good..fellow in his. way, and a. very clever one. He has made an immense fortune by mills and speculation; he has a keen, steady eye, for the market, a nice taste for fabrics,, materials, patterns, and colours; he is loved and feareds by his own people, respected by his townsmen; he can carry almost anything that he pleases, and he can make a very fair speech at a public dinner. One thing is wanting to his greatness—at least so think Mrs. Tubbs and the Misses Tubbs —and that is a seat in Parliament, with the prospect of the Drawing-room and admission to fashionable society. So, though the fcow.n produces its usual share of clever talking 'men, rising barristers, Universitymen, writers, and philosophers, Alderman Tubbs isyelected without opposition. He proposes a speech on-the first.debate within' his,comprehension, and finds he might as well prepare to da,nce on the tightrope, or vault over nine chairs, performing a summersault by the way. He hasn't it in him. He is great among goods, and clearheaded at: casting a balance;'but in the presence of Mr. Speaker and the hon. members,'his wits utterly fail him. ' Perhaps by. dint of great force,; .or his own natural hardihood,he may get out a few sentences; but as Mr.: Roebuck' observes; he'shortly comes tb that terrible pass, vyh'en. he' has to name' the House, and has not the wit to avoid; the. dreaded shibboleth. )- .Once he calls it '"^ouse," and there ' is•'■'•'an;end of hini.. Whatever treasures of wisdom he may hide under his honest brow, though he sit for 30 years in that " 'ouse," he is a dead man. A storm of derision greets the mutilated syllable, and haunts the memory of the alderman to his dying hour. Better have lost £20,000 on calicoes or hardware than given that one sound less breath than its due. Nor was it ever otherwise. A man who had once mispronounced a word could never again show himself in an Athenian senate or theatre. The Macedonia Alexander was rendered miserable in the midst of his triumphs by his nice Athenian critics. The Fathers of the early Church tell us that even an angel would not, have been listened to in the pulpit if he had left out his h's. Paley never got over lengthening the second-syllable of profugits. Clever as he was, and well as he wrote, he could, be noscholar. So Alderman Tubbs hasfailed in very illustrious company. But' why should he complain ? After spending an evening pleasantly at. the coffee-house, he returns.to a splendid mansion, an affectionate wife, lively girls, company •of his own rank, and the happy consciousness of extending , trade,' increasing income,' and an' enlarged acquaintance. The fellow whose speech he and the.rest of the House have been listening to for an hour perhaps retires to lodgings, loneliness, .desertion, and debt. —rThe Times, ..'.'.