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Colonist, Volume II, Issue 106, 26 October 1858, Page 3

The Patent Umbrella. —Beard, a Ciricinnatti artist, has invented a plan to stop the most inconvenient and unpunishable crime, umbrella theft, which he intends to make public at the risk of violating the patent law. I had bought a fine silk umbrella, and "started for the Burnet House, on a rainy day, when 1 began to reflect on my extravagance, and to wonder as I tripped along proudly under its broad safe cover, whether or. not it.would go the way of all umbrellas, and' leave me'to the ' pitiless peltings of the storm,' before the day was over. True, I could keep it in my hand; but then I was occasionally so absent-minded that I would be just as apt to set it down in a public bar-room, or even to have it quietly taken out of my hand by some adroit purloiner. Suddenly an idea occurred. I stepped into a hardware store, and purchased a small padlock. * On arriving at the hotel I closed the umbrella, slipped the padlock on the wire spring which keeps it shut, and deposited it with the most perfect confidence in the public rack. A splendid looking fellow, with a coatee and moustaches, stepped up with the most perfect nonchalance, and took my identical umbrella. I quietly sauntered towards the door, giving a casual glance at the silk; but alas! it was no go—again! Still worse. What the deuce was the .matter ? He looked—saw the trajf, and the fall of his countenance was exactly the step from the sublime to the ridiculous! had so often heard of, but never-seen before. My umbrella was quietly deposited in its place, and the gentleman meekly sauntered towards the reading-room, and slipped out of another door umbrellaless. I was by no means satisfied with one experiment. In a little while I saw one of the most brazen appropriators of small things, 'he, was especially hard on lunches and drinks—free '-—in all Cincinnati. 'Now,' said I, 'is^my chance.' This, customer had an article in his hand, which } might, in'courtesy, be ■ styled y* the ghost of an umbrella,'and cotton at that. With a grandiloquent air he deposited it right alongside of mine, and went to the bar. There he picked up a treat (it was election time), and ate crackers and cheese enormously. Thence to the reading-room, with my eye still on him, arid in less, than a minute, with a shrug, and buttoning up his coat an extra button, he passed in a rapid business manner to the door, picked up my umbrella, with scarcely a glance, as he \yent along. I was on band. With a sudden movement he attempted to raise it ',^-nogo! Again! Still failure! With a decision , perfectly. Napoleonic, and worthy of the occasion, he was about to tear away the light obstruction, when I stepped up, and said—' Don't do it ? I'll lend you the key!', r' Ah ! Mr. Beard. Ha! strange: mistake-— thought it was my own. Good device -j-. think I'll adopt it.' " Arid with the most perfect ease he put my umbrella down, took his own; and vomosed. I was satisfied. -;I had found out how to keep an umbrella, and now 1 am on my way to Washington to get a patent for it. "...''■ What' Feeding will no for'Pigs.—-We. have just killed One pig, fourteen months old, which vyeighed, 438 pounds. A neighbour had two pigs of the same litter, weighing 436 and 439 pounds. It will be seen that the average growth was a trifle over a pound a day for the whole life of these pigs. Another neighbour had a pig of tlie same litter, killed at the same time, weighed 248 pounds—a difference of nearly 200 pounds. There is an old adage among pork makers, that "the breed of swine is all in the trough," and these experiments would go to establish the truth :of the proverb. Though we have full faith that some breeds are better than others, yet very much depends upon feeding. In the case here recorded the whole difference lay in the trough. The heavy pigs were well fed, while ■ the other was stinted. Policy in one case, costs about six cents a pound, in the other not less than ten cents. To make pork economically, the swine must, have a dry warm apartment to sleep in, and, at this season of the year the bottom should be of wood or some good npn-conducter. They should be fed at regular intervals. The pig knows the dinner hour as well as his master, and his stomach becomes uneasy, if its cravings are not met at the appropriate time. The secret thrift depends upon keeping him in the most comfortable position possible. If a pig squeals, his flesh is wasting, and the owner should take the alarm at once. But pigs Should have enough to" "eat at each meal, ,and a change of food occasionally. They will grow more rapidly upon a mixed diet. -For the last few weeks these heavy pigs were fed with two quarts of corn meal apiece, at each feeding. This made the flesh firm and heavy, and the lard very abundant. Full feeding is as great an advantage to the manure heap, as it is to the pork barrel. With suitable convenience, a farmer may make eight cords of manure, worth sixteen dollars, for each pig he keeps a year. This will pay for nearly one half of the food a pig consumes, and very much reduce the cost of making pOrk. The rule then for making pork economically is, keep dry and warm, feed regularly and abundantly, with a variety of food—and save the manure. — California Paper* y Professor Airey's son has been fined 20s. for bathing in the reservoir of Greenwich park. It was stated that it would cost £40 for emptying and refilling the said reservoir. y Mr. Russelt_ on Elephant-back,—At the word of the mahout the ancientp.iehyder.rn'knelt;down/-with infinite condescension, and parm.itted a ladder to. be placed against his side," by which* we mounted to a contrivance.just like the body of an Irjsh jaunting car, strapped over his back. We preferred that mode of mounting to the more usual way of putting one's foot on the animal proboscis, and holding on by the lower .flap of his huge Indiarubber looking ear, while he by a gentle curl upwards of his oin nificent snout, raises the rider 1. his back—or to the equally popular mode of seizing liis tail «nd putting our foot against his hind leg, which the animal elevates at the word of command till the biped is high enough to scramble to his seat in tho howdah. We sat back to back,-two at each side, nicely bale-need, and, having undergone two smart shocks of an earthquake while our friend, in two great heaves fore and aft, got to his feet, proceeded on our journey. T cannot say, notwithstanding the. honor and glory of the thing, that tho elephant is an animal which.makes a favorable impression as a means of locomotion. The only thing to which I can compare the pitching, fore and aft, as he rises and falls in his stride, is the riding of a light collier brig in a tideway. One of our party was soon sickened, and the others were engaged, with great, severity of aspect, in holding on to the nails ofthe vessel, " like gum death to a backstay." And so we went on till dawn, very sleepy, tight* ropy and noddy; We roused up "to an attitude of an attention at the. sight of a broad and deep looking river, which looked anything but inviting under the combined rays of the setting moon and rising sun. As these sagacious and highly intellectual beings are horribly fond of.practical jokes, we watched the depth of. the water, with some anxiety, lest our elephant shou d avoid the trouble of swimming by tlie simple expedient of letting his feet prop and - walking ou tiie bottom, while th'o top of his proboscis, held above water, supplied, him with air; but the stream was no more than "-ix or seven feet deep, and wo crossed without an involuntary ablution,