BEDTIME STORY

Taupo Times, Volume II, Issue 96, 20 November 1953, Page 8

BEDTIME STORY

THE TOPSIDE STEAK The incident of the topside steak was a trivial domestic affair. But there was a larger question involved, namely, the survival of the fittest. In the circle of my acquaintances was a dear old lady who owned a town house and a seaside bungalow. If she were alive today I wouldn't dare tell this story. My wife and I were enjoying her hospitality during a holiday period and she thought it would be a good idea for the ladies to have a weekend at the seaside bungalow, leaving me to look after the town house — and the cat. This cat was a precious possession. He belonged to the idle rich of the feline community. I don't believe he would have recognised a mouse if he had seen one. So in the list of final instructions to be carried out during his owner's absence was, Item No. 1: "Don't forget to feed the cat." I was shown the larder — and the wine cellar. On a plate under a gauze cover was a large pieee of topside steak. It was thick and juicy. "Is this my Sunday dinner?" I asked. "No," was the reply. "This is for the cat. You get your dinner in town. And there's a box of cigars — I know you like cigars — and there's whisky and wine and beer | in the cellar. You'll be all right, won't you?" I said I'd be all right. What man wouldn't be?

"And don't forget the cat!" with this parting injunction they got U into the car and went off. That was Saturday. I went into town, and, in a man- ( ner of speaking, fell among theives. Not to mention publicans and sinners. Incidentiy I forgot all about the cat. I got home in the early hours of Sunday morning, went to bed, and when I woke the noon-day sun was shining brightly, the Sabbath day was well on the way, and I began to think about food. I could either get dressed and go down — town for a meal, or stay in py- ~ jamas and dressing gown, take pot luck from the larder, and lounge lazily throughout the day, completely emancipated from petticoat government. I chose the latter agreeable alternative, went to inspect the larder, and found the topside steak. To cut a long story short, I had j feasted on grilled steak and tomatoes, drunk a pint of beer, and smoked a cigar before something furry hopped in through the open window and said "Miaow!" There are different kinds of "Miaows." Some are friendly, ingratiating. Others are demanding insistent, persistent.

This one struck the wrong note, a bit off key. It had an accusing sound, as if to say: "You've eaten my dinner. Now you'll cop it!" I picked him up, carried him to the window and dropped him out. "Survivial of the fittest," I said. "Go and catch some mice!" The ladies returned next day. "I see you didn't forget the cat," said my hostess. "He reminded me himself," I said This, I reflected, was one of the cases in which " — least said soonesi mended." An admirable precept — "D."