Odds and Ends.

Te Aroha News, Volume XXII, Issue 42799, 31 October 1905, Page 4

Odds and Ends.

Magistrate : “ Have I not seen.you tw'c) under the influence of liquor ? ” . Prisonor : “If you were in ihat condition, your honour, -.probably yitt> did see me twice!” ' • '•'-••• .v-'-'; A man asked a friend to define the problem of capital and labour. *‘lf I lend you ten pounds,” said the friend, “ that’s capital; if I try to get it back, • . it would be labour!” -r ; * „ ' % ■>ip Jones: *“ Did you take mat photo- ' oragh of Miss Bute I saw on your . . mautlepiece ?” . Smith: “Yes.” Joies: “Friend; of yours ?” Smith : “ She was before : ; I took the photo. ” ** ~ . Pulling was Cheaper. —A and his wife went into JJJa dentist’s. “ How much do gou charge for fillin’ t-e'h?” asked the farmer. “ Five shillings.” ' “ An’ how much for pullin’ ?” “Half-a-crown.” * - ■" Not Necessary.—A woman: who unexpectedly came into a fortune purchased an extensive estate, ani became lavish in her expenditure. One day she was showing some of her old-time friends about her place, and they came. ; to the poultry yard. - IlSt “ What beautfnl chickens! ’ they explained. “All prize fowl,” ' haughtily explained the hostess. ’ ’ “Do they lay every day ? ” was the next question. “Oil, they could, of course,” was the reply, “ but in our position it is - not necessary for then! to do .so.” Clergyman (lately come to parish); “ Your neighbours Smith says my \•,' sermons are rubbish.” Farmer :Ah, you needn’t mind’ im, sir ; ’ e’s merely C\ i mouthpiece for other folks.”