Odds and Ends.

Te Aroha News, Volume XXII, Issue 42795, 24 October 1905, Page 4

Odds and Ends.

WHAT WAS THE GRIME ? The scene is a second-class compact.ment. The speaker, a man. is atouV florid, with short-cut grey hair, aL<%: very self-satisfied. The effeminate _ J degeneracy of modern young men is J his theme- I Look at me! Sixty years of.age— I never had a day’s illness in my life. ' * and can do my* four miles an hour! Why? Because from when I was ■>%} twenty to when I was for<y I lived a regular life. No delicacis for me! x No late hours! Every day, Summer and Winter, I went to bed at - up at five, lived principally on porridge worked hard —hard, mind you, from freight to one, then dinner, then an hour’s walking exercise, and then ( Beg your pard’n, guv’nor interrupts a youug working mau, sitting opposite, but wot was you in for? SNARES FOR THE TONGUE. The popularity of Peter Piper’s celebrated peck of pickled peppers will never wane ns a snare to catch the tongue that would feign be agile ; but that test has formidable rivals. The following short sentences, as their authors maintain, do wonders ia baffling the ordinary powers of speech : Gazo on the gay gray brigade. 'the sea ceaseth, and it sufficeth us. Say, should such a shapely sash shabby stitches show ? Strange strategic statistics. Give Grimes Jim’s gilt gig whip. She sells sea shells. A cup of coffee in a copper coffee pot. Smith’s spirit flask split Phillip’s . - fixth sister’s fifth squirrel’s skull. Teacher : “Now, Tommy, you had no good excuse for staying away from school yesterday,” Tommy : "We. , it ain’t my fault.” Teacher: “Ic isn’t ? Why 1 Tommy: “ Cause I done my best -to think of a good one.”