Odds and Ends.

Te Aroha News, Volume XXII, Issue 42794, 21 October 1905, Page 4

Odds and Ends.

Too Much for Him.—Civil Service Examiner (very sternly to Jacket y Smith, who aspires to- the office of r postman): ‘How far is it from the earth to the moon ? ’ Smith (in terror) : * Good heavens,. : if you’re going to put me on. that beat I don’t, want the job.’ Lodger (who has just had a plate of empty oyster shell laid before him):' What on earth have you brought s these for ? Servant: Piease, sir, were all what was left after I cleaned the insides out: Keeping Eow Is.—JDo you find that' poulty keeping pays, Mrs Wilkins ?” inquired a neighbour. ‘ Well, no, I can’t say that it pays me But I think that it pays my >oy ’ Johnny.” •‘jHon is that?” ' . “ Well, you see,” replied Mrs Wilk- • ins. “ I bought him the fowls. -I’v , have to pay for their keep, and buy the eggs from him, and he eats them* Prescribed.—He : I told your father.,, that I just dote on you. She : And what did he say ? He: That I had better find• an antidote. Meant It.-Doctor : Why don’tyou settle my account? You said when l was attending you that you couldVi never repay me for all I was doing. Patient: And I meant it. “ Hi, there called the policeman, “ don’t you see that sign : ‘‘No dogs allowed in this park ?” “ Ah!’ re* plied the dog-owner, “but this poor dog can’t read. Fine day, isn’t it?’ Jones : “ How do you snppi Be she manages to make her husband; still/, love her?” • Brown : “ Why, don’t you see, she won’t let him draw on her principal, and that of course keeps up the interest!”