Airy Nothings.

Te Aroha News, Volume XXII, Issue 42774, 5 September 1905, Page 4

Airy Nothings.

An absent 1 mmd&ri>rbfesßor wss observed walking'dowtt the street with one fyot the other' -on, the ;? pavgtnent. : ;:A,,?pupit, meeting himi saluted him with,: * <*{wd evening; professor! •• How are you r ‘ I was very well, I thought, ; an* swered the professor,/ibut now Idonfc kqow what’s the matter.'.' rthelsst ten minutee J’ve been limping ! F In, ,a ; Northern , towrp :there ,is a wealthy man who. gives freely to oer - tain, oharitable objects,, but* inother respects is a miser He liv©9j alone m a tumble-down . house, and is. seldom seen outside it. When he ;goes out, his garments give him the appearance jpi tramp. One day; two friends of ms youth thet him in the town, and beg&n to chaff him about his, clothes., “ Your father,” said one, “ would new. have worn ei coat like that.”j •** That sjust where you’re wrong,”: was |he : answer* ; It happens to my,father «j In the north Of Lanarkshire , lived, a well-known character of the .name of Sandy who lii e 1 in ; p turf t , bojise, the roof of which was" badly m need cf This,; however, Sandy was too lazy ( to do, and on s w/*t dhytne neijgb* hours used to laugh at Sandy,. ; wnQjfS* inside with an old umihrellaiOverj ,mni to keep off the rain,; in by several holes in the roof; you might as well hae a big riddle for ar roof as that,” “Toots, man,” said/ Bawiy, “ it’e fai ower wet to -mend the ro °f th* day, and on a dry day I have as iood a house as onybidy.’ . ; . School Inspector—-NOw,. children,.if I wanted to become a carp^ntpi 1 ,; what should .1 require that«t f4 present I have’nt got? Bottom Boy (sharply for once)—A character, Bir. ; , W First Husband—The doctor, hah ordered my wife to speak as possible for three months. Second Husband (eagerly)—Would you give me the name and address of that doctor. : ' :T- J " "Vi s*. j ono9 _I notice that your unde left an estate of half a million. ( Brown— It was not his fault that he dd. J ones —What do ; you :inean ? Biown—He would have taken it ;with, ;Jiim if he could. • ' r •. V ! ■ >