Airy Nothings.

Te Aroha News, Volume XXII, Issue 42772, 31 August 1905, Page 4

Airy Nothings.

Some married woman not only have the last word, but all the rest of them. “ You never; told me i Mies Fairgirl , was. an athlete” “ Well, is she? “ Yes, she has thrown' me over.” To ridicule old age is like-pouring in the morning cold'water into the bed in which you have to sleep at night Vr “ What was the longest engagement you ever took partifl, .Colonel,?’’ /‘.lt lasted . two ’years, juid-ithen;: the,,girl married euoiher fellow.”; Boots — What time 'shall I call you, sir. Visitor— Don’t trouble/-: I wake regularly at eight, o’clock. . . Boots Then would you mind calling : me at 8.30? ~ Bacon —I suppose, like most women your wife wants the earth ? EgbertWell, yes; but I have lear.nt .that she don’t vyant it on her parlour icarpeky-. There is nothing that, annoys a,man more than for his wife.to tell him that he has been talking in his * sleep,- . and refusing to tell him what he"said. “ The gambler lives on <>ui hopes, the lawyer on our quarrels,: ;tlie'doctor on our ills, and the clergyman on our; fears.” Thus spoke a receat lecturer. “ Bluffly told me he was going out every day this week to she.if he could'nt find work.” ‘ ‘ Yes, and - he.was; successful.” “That so? “Yes; he could’nt find if.” A scientist 1 claims that the . older a man gets the smaller his brain becomes. This may explain why an ;: eighteen-year-old boy -knows:more than his father. , “Brilliant and impulsive people, g said a lecturer on physiogpnomy, “ have black eyes, or if they, don’t have ’em they're apt to get ’em if they’re too impulsive,” A gentleman is a man who Is gentle in thought, word, and deed.;. He is' a good son, husbaud, father, ;friend, and is generally true and just in all his dealings. . . Giles—My wife can drive nails like lightning. Miles—You don’t moan it ? Giles—Sure I do. Lightning, ryouy,know, seldom strikes twice in the same v* place. ' "/■