AIRY NOTHING.

Te Aroha News, Volume XXII, Issue 42771, 29 August 1905, Page 4

AIRY NOTHING.

There are tocr many nmanuf acturers in the world- who make- nothing but trouble. . • The yqpngjnan wh.o .has /.lug t evenings, to himself-geuqrally .goes and giveß;thera to some one; else. Binks—Time ;: ruus..pn, eh! Now, what makes. time ; run ,qn ? Bunks— The spur qf the mojnept, I suppose. "Ob, yes, I gave my husband a motor car ; pn his birthday.” NBut I thought,he [didn’t .like.’motor cars ? He .doesn’t. But I do. She-rl wonder whypien stay away fr,.m church ?, Her, Jijisband-—Why they are not as much interested in each other’s clothes as women.;’ - Df Wise—Now, see here, you’ll have to stop drinking between meals. Luchman—l’ll compromisewith you, doc. ; I’ll stop eating, between didnks. Nell—Why you’re limping ! - Tour shoes are too small, aren’t they ? ; Belle—Oh, , no, indeed ? Nell—No ? 00, I .see ; its merely your, feet that are too large. > • :n " ’ “Did’nt, I hear your husband.quar* rolling withyou this qiorning.?” “/Yes, he didn’t like my ..first biscuits.” '• Well,,some.pepple wouldrachei fight . than , eat.” • -v" y ; Younghub—l cjm’t .see :whafc ;ails ,ny razor —It’s as dull : as a hoe.” Mrs Younglmb—Why, .that’s strange. It was, awfully sharp, yesterday-when I was sharpening my pencil, with Kind Lady—You can get ..work beatiog carpets,.two doors, from here—they are cleaning: Jiouee.: Homeless Holmes—Thanks, mum. I mighterbumped right inter ; it, ; ;if;youse hadn’t warned me. I’ll steer , clear of it, mum, - •

Sweet Wife—Never mind, George. The morning, is approaching on which you will wake up ,and . find . yotirsolf famous ! Disappointed PessimistLeave me alone, dear ! I’m- sure to oversleep myself on that morning.! Cabby (to driver of yyaggon, loaded with scrgp iron)—“ Now, thefi, admir al, pull on one side ! You oan’t .have all the road.” Driver of Waggon—l: Who nre you calling admiral ? "You red-faced, cat’s-meatwkipper ?’ Cabby —“ Nowi admiral, don’t get out of temper, even if you are taking, the Baltic Fleet home.” ' ’

Daughter —I cannot give Jack up, father. I shall die if I do. ' Father —You must never see him agaiu. I will buy you a new set of diamonds. Daughter—Well, dear father, I suppose I must try and be brave. When will you take me to choose the diamonds.?

Looking behind.—ln one .of the barrack-rooms in Aldershot a. soldier, not having much time ;.to dress for guard, had cleaned his boots very well in front, but hardly at all behind. One, of his chums, no icing this, said “ Why don’t you clean the: back of your boots, Ben?” “Oh,” said Ben, clapping on his helmet and hurrying out to the parade-ground, “ a g dd soldier never looks behind.” In consequence the adjutant awarded Ben three extra parades, and a few days after his chum, seeing a great .difference in his boots, lemarked, —I thought a good sohlier nover looked behind, Ben?” “No,” said Ben. “ but ihe adjutant does.”