Irish Bulls.

Te Aroha News, Volume XIV, Issue 2128, 16 July 1898, Page 2

Irish Bulls.

Irish ‘ bulls,’ or witty sayings, always make interesting reading. Here are a few of the best gathered from a large collection:—

Patrick, when he first landed in America, happened to see a locomotive go flashin g by. He started baelc and yelled to bis friend, * Will ye look at that! Ov all the wonders I iver seen it bates thim all. Sure it’s a stameboat searchin’ fer wather.’

Another Irishman said : I saw Pat Ryan the other side of the way. I thought it was Pat and Pat thought it was me, and whin I came up, begorra, it was neither of us.

Another excused himself from going to church by saying he had such an excellent telescope that with it he could bring the church so near he could hear the organ playing.

It was Pat who observed, after watching two men shoot at an eagle and kill it, that they might have saved the powder and shot, as the fall alone would have killed the bird.

Another Irishman assigned as a reason for not putting out the fire in his kitchen with a kettle of boiling water that was near, that it was hot water; and it was Pat’s reply to a man who boasted that he had the smallest horse in the country, ‘ By me faith, I have wan as little as two of it.’

Another one is told of a horse. Pat said he could leap over a ditch at least thirty feet wide; but as Pat describes it, he did it ‘ in two jumps.’

And it was Pat again who, telling a st-ory as original, and .being informed by one of his auditors that he had read it, in the translation of a Latin work, cried out: ‘ Confound those ancients ! They are always stealing one’s good thoughts.’