Wit and Humour.

Te Aroha News, Volume XIV, Issue 2079, 17 February 1898, Page 2

Wit and Humour.

The jury were out several days, and then failed to agree. That show’s the fully of masculine juries—a jury of womeu would have disagreed much sooner than that. He picked up a fusty gun. His friend was standing near. In a playful mood he raised tho stock to his shoulder. He took aim. ‘ Look out,’ he cried ; 4 l’m going to fire l’ He pulled the trigger. But the gun didn’t go off. . It wasn’t" loaded 1 No body was killed 1 Who says that the ago of miracles is past ?. - : • • - The Son; ‘ Pa, how do they catch' fools?’ The Father (glancing significantly at his better half) :t 1 With hows and ribbons and hats and dresses, my son.’ The Mother (pensively) ; ‘Yes, I never knew a woman to oatch a husband yet without using; those accessories.’ ‘Young man,’ said the multi-million-aire angrily, ‘ how dare you get en gaged without my knowledge—and to an actress?’ ‘Such a matter* sir, is one in which I do not think that even a father should be absolute.’ But you never earned > a penny in your life. Suppose I publicly renounce you ?’ « All right, sir. The more you publicly renounce me, the more you advertise my wife.’

An American editor out West offered a prize of fifty debars, and a year’s subscription, for the best written proposal.of marriage from a lady. He picked out a nice proposal from a. beautiful and very wealthy young widow, answered it- accepting the proposal, and with the threat of a breach of promise suit, he actually [captured her.