Wit and Humour.

Te Aroha News, Volume XIV, Issue 2073, 1 February 1898, Page 2

Wit and Humour.

;eu A. Scotchman who was very ill. bei u>me anxious about his spiritual contion. He sent for an. elder, and asked him. whether he thought if he? left ail he pGsssssed-fei--6£&4ijree Kirk bit salvation would be secured: "1

“Weel ! , aa tothaat, I canna said the elder; M with; the positive assurance of certainty—but it’s “ week worth the experiment!”

A lady living in the country whokept poultry had,, among others, some Andalusian fowls;. One day she had' one killed for dinner* which) proved, to. be very toughs , “Rachel,” she said to* her? servant* an elderly woman who had been with; her some time* “whatfowl is this?; lit seems to-be a very old one.”'

“'Well, mum,” replied she* “‘it&Qnej of them there Antediluvians;”’

A lady very kindly invited l a-party/ of “ mothers ’’ from Whitechapel, East-, London, to spend the day at hen-house; in the country. All went well; the seemed very appreciative, and’ the daughter of the house accompanied them to the station in the evening.. Well miss, ’’ said one of them to her as Hie train appeared’in sight,. “we've;’ad a very nice day, and : enjoyed oursels very much ; but lor ! ’ow Ido pity yen-poor dear ma ’aving to live always.; in. such a Godforsaken, place" as, this 1”'

i A Scotchman was being twitted' on. ,his density by an Englishman. “Ife was-Sydney „Smith, H ' said the Englishman, “ who saidsiti needed a- surgical operation to get >yjoke into? a Scotchman's head.” ***■ “ Eh, mon„” rep.fed the Scot, «it must have been one of his ain jokes.” 4 New Servant (from Ireland; presenting a visiting-card to her mistress): There’s two. of ’em waiting at the door] mum! s Mistress :■ Why ever, didn’t you invite them in ? ; New Servant: Sure, mum, an’ you didn’ want two to come in wi r oue ticket, did you 1 Gilded youth (choosing an engagement ring)l’ll have this one, and will yon h .V 0 “ From Edwin to Angelina ”• engravei inside it. at once, and send it to this address ? Jeweller s If I may be pardoned; for making the suggestion, would not “For Ever or “Till Death” be equally appropriate 1 It binds you tonothing you see