Wit and Humour.

Te Aroha News, Volume XIV, Issue 2070, 20 January 1898, Page 2

Wit and Humour.

Bills * It is so late that X am almost afraid to ask the landlady fui v breakfast Mills : Keep you' nerve ; none but the brave deserve the fare,’ j • Mashington ; What’s the mattah with yaqr. clack ? It’s stopped., Tailor: I never Wind it up, I use it as a motto. Mashington * What ffio * you mean? Tailor ; No tick here.

Fogg; Fenderson ia n good enough fellow, but he is terribly slow at seeing- a joke. “Bass YTs He ? Fogg : He slipped on a piece of orange peel the other day, and had a fall. Everybody laughed,abut FendersonToauldn’t see the point of the joke. Bass ; Not surprising. , Fogg 5 He saw it aboilt 24 hours later, however, when another fellow did the same thing, >73 \ She ; But I have never given you any encouragement. He ; You haye frequently alluded to your rich relatives. ; ’ ' J |

' There are some good stories in a little hook, Repartee, .by David Macrae,' ! just issued by Morrison Brothers. Grlasg)W, One tells that it used to' be the custom in some of the Scottish parish churches for the minister to bow to the laird’s pew when he rose to begin his discourse. On one occasion the laird was absent, but the pew contained a bevy of ladies. The minister .feeling a delicacy in the circumstances, omitted the usual salaam. When they next met, the laird’s daughter, widely famed for her beauty, and-afterwards Countess of Mar rallied .the minister for hot bowing to her from the pulpit!, The minister’s reply was admirable. ‘ Your ladyship forgets,’ he.said, <.that the worship of angels is not allowed by the Soottish Church.’ Another is to the effect that when Campbell of Monzie was a candidate for Edinburgh he asked a man to give hi of hie vote. The man answered angrily: ‘ Vote for you ! I’d sooner vote for the Deil !* * Yes,’ said Campbell, * but if .your friend doesn’t stand, may I depend upon your support?’ His wit anti good nature triumphed. The man smiled, said he. would think about it, and actually gave him his vote.