Wit and Humour.

Te Aroha News, Volume XIV, Issue 2067, 11 January 1898, Page 2

Wit and Humour .

It was the Klondyke there could be no doubt of that; everywhere men were starving and being written up. by the newspapers. 6 Dearest be 01106/ ho exclaimed. ‘ Well, you’ve got brass H she sobbed ecstatically.. In truth she had done him wrong,* supposing him to have nothing but gold like the ordinary youths who came and went and were smiled upon and presently forgotten. The Sheriff’: The boys were all in favour of makin’ that reward for you ‘dead Or alive/ but I talked ’em out of it. Pizon Bill r Jake, that was mighty kind of you. The Sheriff: Oh, I dono as they was any pertickler kindness about it. You see, Bill, if you was brought in dead I wouldn’t git to charge the county nothin’ fer your board, and wouldn’t git no fee fer hangin’ you.

Farmer; Of course/ all cows give milk; mine do, anyway. Miss Citibred : That’s strange. I thought that some of them gave beef tea. An old specimen of Yorkshire humor is given in the ‘ Oornhill ’:— ‘ An old man is lying ‘ in extremis,’ while his daughter stakes from the pot a fine ham. The old man asks for a slice, and is met by the rebuff: ‘ Thee get on with thy deeing ; t’ham’s for t’funeral.’

Mr John A. 0. Logan, in his book, ‘ In Joyful Russia/ tells this story : ‘ How old are you,’ Li Hung Chang asked the Czar, when be was presented to him. ‘ Twenty-seven/ replied His Majesty. ‘You look forty, your face contains so much wisdom'!’ This, of course, from the Celestial standpoint was a very emphatic compliment. ‘And how old are you ?’ queried the Emperor, intending to comment pleasantly upon the aged statesman’s vigorous appearance and activity. Li Hung Chang smiled and his bright eyes twinkled slyly as he replied, ‘ Oh, I’m only & boy, too I’ In the biography of Dr Hawtrey, a famous English schoolmaster, there is a description of his unkempt appearance, with a comment which has been greatly quoted, It is said that he was scolding for being late at morning lesson some boy, who replied that he had no time to dress. ‘ But I can dress in time/ said the doctor. ‘ Yes/ replied the boy, ‘ but I wash.’