THISTLEDOWN.

Te Aroha News, Volume XII, Issue 1756, 3 August 1895, Page 2

THISTLEDOWN.

“ A man may jeafc and tell the truth.’’ —Horace. So Mr Thompson is returned for Auckland by a decided majority over Mr Monk, despite the shrieking of the Herald. Indeed it appears to me that the latter gentleman may well say, ‘ Save me from my friends,’ as he would most probably have had a better chance of winning if the old lady of Wyndham-street had not been so hysterical. The, working men of Auckland, to use a convenient if not strictly accurate phrase, no doubt were a bit sore over the interference of Government, and if they had any grit in them must have felt a trifle mean after fetching up Mr Fawcus from Wellington only to throw him over; in the natural course of events many might have been expected to abstain from polling and a few even to vote for the Oppositionist, and the Herald up to the morning of the election was cock sure of this. It was, however, decidedly bad strategy for that journal to use the bellows so vigorously and even spitefully; as instead of fanning it extinguished the incipient flame of jealousy kindled by the Ministerial action in the breasts of Auckland Liberals. If it is foolish to halloo before you are out of the wood, it is equally silly to shout before you have your fish safely galled or netted. The Monkist organ in this case counted its chickens before they were hatched and rolled its tongue and licked its lips over its hare before it was jugged, catched or killed. Yes, my grammatical friend, ‘ catched,’ is quite correct, as Mrs Glasse, of cookihg fame, was not so wasteful of words as. to tell you to have your hare before cooking it. ‘Catch’ in the famous proverb .she originated is a kitchen term for disjointing.

Hitherto confessions to clergymen, physicians and solicitors have been regarded by law as confidential and, though the Bill at present before the House of Representatives preserved this privilege, Mr Reeves had it recommitted with a view to strike out the clause and was actually supported in his efforts by some two-fifths of the House. Happily for the reputationjofjour representatives for common sense ana common justice the majority were for retaining the privilege. Had it been abolished it would have meant cruel persecution of some of the best members of the community. A Roman Catholic priest dare not reveal' the secrets of the confessional, and any law which refused to recognize hia position would richly deserve embalming in company with that precious production of the last century, the Irish Penal Code, for the abhorrent and indignant'astonishment of the future. Most clergymen of any religious persuasion, and all respectable doctors or lawyers would also be under constant liability to punishment for contempt of Court if Mr Reeves had had his way. He is a young man who like hiss own way, and his character and future prospects as a politician would be greatly improved if for a few years he got a little less of it. The darling boy is just a trifle spoiled and would be all the better for an occasional toe from McKenzie’s or Saddon’s big boots. © © © o

Not before it was wanted, the Colonial Secretary has’introduced a Bill to control the action ox Acclimatisation Societies in introducing strange beasts aud birds into the country. Their energies of j late have taken a safe and, useful direction towards stocking bur rivers with fish, and it is gratifying to note their success even in this district where it might have’ been thought the climate was unsuited for trout, which, however, are fairly plentiful at ■ Okoroire at auyrato. Seven fish weighing 28J lba was not a bad,,afternoon sport for a Hamiltonian follower of, Izaak Walton last season. Their earlier exploits, howevexy were of a different order. It is perfectly inexplicable how, any man in Jhis sober senses could ever have dreamed of introducing the sparrow, a hard billed-bird and save under the pressure of necessity a Btrict vegetarian. As the other feathered immigrants, brought here under their auspices" were mostly game birds, the members could hardly have" any leanings themselves to such a Spare diet; Determined, however, to be sound on the goose, or rather the vegetarianism, they were not satisfied even with .the hedge-sparrow but took special care to curse us with his Londonjcousin, a. thorough cockney in impuence and assurance. Private individuals. I believe, introduced the rabbit with the benevolent idea of increasing our fobd supply. The pavement downstairs got an extra flagstone from their good intentions, and still another when Government introduced the ferret and the weasel to fight bunny. The ferret prefers loafing near the hen-roost to prospecting for bunny, small blame to him; he did us one good turn at all events, when developed; by the'imagmation of two schoolboys into, ‘a Saurian. Monster/ he gave us all a hearty laugh, eome few years ago near Hamilton. ' Apparently, howeyer, disastrous as has been some of our experiments in acclimatisation of animals., we cannot altogether throw wp the game. In the days when we were boys the balance of nature seemed fairly well preserved; now-a-dayei we are.seemingly compelled to be always tampering with the weight in either scale if one is not to kick the beam, while the results of our constant tinkering hardly warrant the boast of the atheist that if he had been the Creator he would have shot himself if .he had made such a bungle of the Universe. No; our efforts have certainly not brought any nearer the era when the lion shall lie down with the lamb. 'On the contrary we barely manage a depressed existence by setting beetle against Jackie and ladybird against aphis and strive to maintain our lordship of creation by subsidising a host of insect and feathered mercenaries, much as that honest, obstinate old lunatic George the Third, tried to retain the sovereignty over his American colonies by hordes of Hessian mercenaries, but let ns hops under happier auspices. In fact if wo recognised our position we should/iave, with a, blush perhaps yet with truth, to adopt as our National Anthem—- ■ ‘ We know all fleas have little fleas Upon their backs to bite ’em, And little fleas have lesser fleas And so ad infinitum.’ * « '■« - e-

Mr He Hem Smith, the double choice of New Plymouth as lamplighter and member, seta the fashion in one respect in the House of Bepresentatives. He usually introduces in his speeches,, and he speaks ' like Solomon, of everything from the cedar of Lebanon to the hyssophonthe wall, something which for some reason known to himself he calls poetry. I remember hearing a member of Jthe and toothpick brigade explain the phrase ‘ neither rhymenor reason/ as meaning blank verse; he had evidently ne; er read Mr Smith’s poetry. They say, however, that imitation is the sincerest flattery, and, if so, he ought to feel flattered, as most members contrive

by hook or crook to drag in some verse into their remarks. More modest, however, that Hee Hem they borrow their poetry or slightly adapt it. The last and perhaps the happiest parody of this kind which I have seen was made by Dr Newman on the Premier’s luck in the matter Of banquets, and is suggested by Tennyson’s Ulysses:— ‘ I cannot rest; lam become a name

For always roaming with a hungry heart; Much have I seen and eaten/