A Trifle Pessimistic.

Te Aroha News, Volume VII, Issue 472, 17 May 1890, Page 6

A Trifle Pessimistic.

Early in the century there lived in Edinburgh a well-known grumbler named Sandy Black, whose oft-recurring fits of spleen or indigestion produced some amusing scenes of senseless irritability which were highly relished by all except the fellow’s good, patient little wife. One morning Sandy rose bent on a quarrel. The haddies and the eggs were excellent, done to a b urn, and had been ordered by himself the previous evening; but breakfast passed without the looked for compliment. 4 What will you have for dinner, Sandy ?’ asked Mrs Black. 4 A chicken, madam,’ said the husband. 4 Roasted or boiled ?’ 4 Confound it! madam, if you had been a good and considerate wife, you would have known before this what I like !’ Sandy growled out as, slamming the door, he left the house. It .was in the spring, and a friend who was present heard his little wife say : 4 Sandy’s bent on a disturbance to-day. I shall not please him, do whac I will.’ The dinner time came, and Sandy and his friend sat down to dinner. The fish was eaten in silence, and on raising the cover of the dish before him, in a towering passion the former called out : ‘Boiled chicken ! That’s it, madam 2 “A chicken boiled is a chicken spoiled !” ’ Immediately the cover was raised from another chicken roasted to a turn - 4 Madam, I won’t eat roast chicken !’ roared Sandy. 4 You know very well how it should have been cooked.’ At that instant a boiled chicken, with mushrooms, was placed on the table. 4 Without green peas !’ roared the grumbler. 4 Here they are, my dear,’ said Mrs Black. 4 How dare you spend my money in this manner?’ 4 They were a present,’ said his wife. Rising from his chair, Sandy clenched his fist and shouted : * How dare you receive presents without my leave ?’