RIVAL GAFFS.

Te Aroha News, Volume VII, Issue 448, 22 February 1890, Page 6

RIVAL GAFFS.

In 4 The Truth about the Stage ’ Corin tells the following story of the ingenious proprietor of a penny theatre at the East End : One Saturday evening a startling poster appeared at the door of Sandy’s theatre : 4 Admission, one penny, including refreshments !’ The rival manager and his company, when they read the announcement, declared that it must either be a rank swindle or the work of a lunatic. Half an hour before the door was opened a large crowds of roughs congregated in front of the old gaff. The new show was deserted, and the manager in a state of frenzy. When the door opened Sandy was discovered seated in the money box with several huge sacks of carrots by his side ; and each boy or girl who paid for admission was presented with a fine carrot. The effect of a moneytaker at a place of amusement serving out carrots to the audience was so ludicrous that even the lowest of the gaff patrons took it all ingood part. Sandy’s rival was beaten out of the field. The refreshment novelty, however, soon began to wane ; the boys, instead of eating their carrots, threw them on to the stage at the performers, and one Saturday night the carrot season came to an abrupt termination. The drama was 4 Susan Hopley.’ In one scene the low comedian has a deal to say about a friend of his called Spriggins! On this occasion Sandy was very much struck with the unusually good behaviour of the boys ; the stage was free from carrots, there was no whistling, and very little applause. Sandy was uneasy. The old-fashioned drama went; smoothly enough, and the front scene between the low comedian and the chambermaid commenced. The comic man raised the curiosity of the chambermaid to its highest pitch. She wanted to see the mysterious Spriggins. Her wish w'as gratified by her sweetheart, who went off at the right wing and led on a live donkey, exclaiming 4 This is Spriggins !’ The audience at this critical moment rose en masse, and with one voice gave a mighty 4 Hee-haw !’ Then followed a shower of carrots. They were all aimed at the donkey, but the actors did not escape. The 4 Heehaw ’ chorus was resumed. The coster who had lent the donkey was in front. He jumped upon a seat and roared 4 Take off .the moke ; take off the moke !’ The moke, who had recovered from his fright, began to much the carrots heaped on the stage. As no one attempted bo lead off the donkey, the owner of the animal leaped upon the stage and seized the bridle. The donkey refused to leave his splendid banquet. The coster pulled with all his might, the donkey stretched his neck and backed towards the footlights. The character of the entertainment had now entirely changed ; it was now a trial of strength between a man and a donkey. The boys saw in it their old game of 4 the tug of war,’ and applauded vociferously. Another moment, and the donkey backed an inch or two nearer the footlights. Loud cheers, and cries of * Bravo, moke 1’ 4 Two to one on the cuckoo !’ The man seemed to be gaining and the donkey losing strength, when the coster stepped upon a slippery carrot and fell on his back, letting the bridle slip from his grasp, the donkey obeying a well-known physical law, tumbled into the orchestra, his hind legs going through the body of the baps saddle. The scene now baffled description. In his struggles to get free the donkey kicked the double bass to smithereens. Roughs jumped upon the stage, the gas was turned off, benches were uprooted, and before the police arrived the 4 Royal Theatre of Varieties was a wreck, and poor Sandy Macdonalc a ruined man.