Wit aud Humour.

Te Aroha News, Volume VII, Issue 431, 25 December 1889, Page 6

Wit aud Humour.

Fire water. —Steam. In the race of life the undertaker overtakes us all. It must be the spur of the moment that makes time go so fast. Dead men tell no tales. They carried 1 them, according to Darwin. When does a cow become landed property? — When turned into a field. The man who knows himself may not always be pi'oud of the acquaintance. * Well, Brown, how do you find yourself ?' ' Never lost myself. If I did I suppose I'd advertise.' Waiter (to minister) : ' How do you like your beef, sir V '. Well done, thou good and faithful servant.' Don't hit a man when he's down ; hit him while he's up a tree, and* run away-be-foro he reaches the ground. , „ ' The proper place for the* Scottish schoolboy strikoi s.— « The Stool of Repentance/ An-J let the seat be cane-bottomed. , A paper fays— 'Notwithstanding the heavy rain on Friday there was a short) supply of milk on Saturday^morning.' Irishman.— 'Where is, the front of the house, Pat ?' 'This is the back, sorr, and shure yell find the front behoind there !' > Some say, that the man who .would « beat an eeg ', would be so cruel as to ' whip cream, 5 ' thrash wheat/ or even * lick a postage stamp. 1 The man who eats oleomargarine feeds on the fat of the land,