CURRENT TOPICS. (ByZamiri in the ' Auckland Star,"

Te Aroha News, Volume VII, Issue 426, 7 December 1889, Page 6

CURRENT TOPICS. (ByZamiri in the ' Auckland Star,"

Tukiik soems to bo in New Zealand a very, general anxiety to encourage the growth of manufactures. All Borts of good effects are claimed as likely to flow fiom the introduction of such. One disad\ anbage is, I think, usually forgotten by those who desire to bee this n great manufacturing country. Wherever there are manufactures people congregate into tho towns, and the offecbs on their physical and moral- welfare ara by no means what any lover of his race would care to see. People in towns are generally miserable, etunted animals compared with their codntry couhhs. Even already in New Zealand this physical diflerence between Ihe inhabitants of town and country is strongly marked, and our own observations on the difference should load us to think twice before praying for the introduction ot manufacture? and consequent growth of / towns. I * ' '. . A good story conios to my mind in thn connection. Not Jong ago there was an encampment of volunteois near Auckland. One of our naval corps rather prided itself on a btalwart team of men who could pull over any other team in Auckland in a tug of war. The c.iptain was very pi out! ot his men and had frequently ollcred to back them against any other corps, wiihouirtinding any takers. However* at the encampment was a country corps, t life Alexandra .Ca'alry. It also had a team of in en pretty 'good, as. 'tJiey said,, at the, tug of war, and willing to back themselves against nny oilier in the 1 encampment. The Naval captain heard of this and accepted the challenge. But whon he looked at the giants who ivovoioi-repre-faent Alexandra ho turnod' to his own men, and simply paid, "Co back to your tent?, Imy boys. I s is no use. We cannot fight against fate." His men went back and ha> c done no boasting sipce. They were pretty good compared with other Aucklanders, but they were simply children compared with the country lads. #r* ♦ * ♦ -V Many side splitting .stories aro told ot tho pcnuiiou^nesn of Scotchmen, but ono I heard retailed last week by a shipwrecked bairns' father certainly deserves repetition in this column, if only from the fact that in ib is concealed a random shot iiilectin<; quite a number of " douce " folk hi our very midst.'" Without further preamble,- then.' ib was simply -this : That> an"- Ainorican shopkeeper set up a froe-trad^e etoie iira little village not a hundred miles from Inverness, and as au additional b'ilb to customers, placed this sign over the counter .in very large letters : " All new customerstreated to aTdrink."' Well, one morning, a son of auld Scotia came into'" the shop and demanded that a darning needle should bo traded -to him for an egg. Tho negotiation having been edected, the Yankee asked if his customer required aught else, and was met with the reply that according to the sign displayed he would like to web his whistle, and prefeired a little brandy. This was accordingly produced together with a ghes, and the Scotchman leisurely he'ped himself to about '' fi\e fingers " of the fiery liquid. Instead of attempting to drink it ho waited until tl\e shopkeeper asked him if there was anything else he required. Without ~a smile 4 ho replied that he never could drink brandy unless ivo had an- egg beaten up in ib, and so the man from America handed his "customer!. 1 down the identical egg that had just been traded to him for thjb darning-needle. He- broke the ejrg shell jon bhe s ; de of the .g-laso and on emptying the contents, discoveied a double yolk. Having mixed the decoction to his satisfaction he drained the gla^B to the dre2S,|bub contrary to expectation did not nitikc hisfxit from bhe stoic Seeing thi«, the Yankee again approached' him, and asked with suave demeanour if there was anything elso he could do for this very stiff 'customer. "Ah, weel," replied tho man from In\erness, " I was just thinkiu' that'taking into con-see-de-ration that egg had a double yolk, ye ought just to gio me another darnin'-needlc !" Theie is nothing 1 adirirc so much as a thoioughly good patriot- ono who u ill go to any ends bo prove thab his own country 13 (he place on earth to live in, and. if needs be, to die in, but for real riulit down patiiotism commend me to tho ladies. They certainly hato and love with vigour where patriotism is concerned. An instance of this kind occurred during tho late successful mission of tho Lish delegates in Auckland, ior a well-ltnown warnvjicarted lady-sympathiser from some where near Killainey's lakes and-fells gbt<inlo a heated discup&ion on the subject with one of those cool, level-headed Englishmen, and tho consequence was that she hated him, not for his views, but for bhe taicastic manner in which ho combated her pet arguments. Her hallucination was bhat she had simply to fix her eye upon bhe otlender with intense scorn and ho would be at once withered up, as 'bweio. However, he survived the withering- up proce&s sufficiently to bo present Ihe other evening at a dinner party, at which the lady \\i* also invited, and by a peculiar coincidence they found themselvos seated | next one another at the table of their mutual friend. Here again the discussion was renewed, and although many of the lady's arguments bore bhe impress of truth and hib him exceedingly hard, he did not flinch from the attack, • bub bore every onslaught with stoical indiOerouco or with ju&t tho faintest tu&picion of a fwiuklc in his eye. She to bo revenged, awl; accord iogly, When lliey 'were on the balcony, graciously permitted him to smoke. Hating provided" herself before-j,, bund wifjh one of thoso " fireworks cigars," she hanfled one to him, and then tried to, got. '''as far away as possible while he lighted it._,i.SJ[iift wjeub right, jLo^he c othqr T end of bhq halcsoi»y,,bu| he'JpTlowcdliei^and kept so close- 6o Ixot' that 'she was- in ail agony of fear bhab the cigar would explode ,cl ?e to" her head* ' At'lasc thei'-o was a Hzzf;'/ 'a bans, a number op sliopjing stars, a;«uppressod shriek, and a cloud of Mnokc. When the atmosphere had somewhat cleared she looked for the Englishman, and to her surprise found him holding tho remnant of that cigar in his fingers and contemplating it coolly. Intuitively she saw that her joke had, so to &peak. missed fire, and she was intensely mortified when he approached and said, " Aw ! 1 bog pardon, my dear madam, for what probably may appear to you an ir-' relevant question;' but — aw- can you tell \ me -when does this confouuded thing go oil" again ?" ■ft 7" # * # »■ > h r The new pastor of the Bapti&b Tabernoclo appears to have a way of his own in cairyingon religious work. 1 have been told of a rather singular-, jneidenb which occm red during his. recent visib to Otahuhu. "The day was a boiling hot ono,!' says my info.imanb, "and the, pastor was riding along tho road in company with cine of the leading lights of his church, keeping us cool as possible under very adverse circumstances. They stopped *»* •>, shop or farmhouse <'» route,

and obtained a bottle tilled with new milk, and almost immediately after came across throe men navying on the main road, while their faces were bathed in perspiration. The reverend gentleman paused, gave the men a drink of his milk, and then held a prayer meeting at frc*co. At parting tho workmen were invited to attend a meeting at Otahuhu thnt night, and promised to" attend. i' * * t * y T * t Ai rived nt Otahuhu, tho pastor conducted service- in the evening, and on the following morning ho was up at break of day. Having roused his companion, hordes were saddled, and they started out on a \iaitmg tour at 5 a.m. I understand that , e*cry resident in the distiict received a call ; tome beforo breakfast, some after breakfa&t, and others later in thed.iy, but none were oterlooked ; and the lay brother \oted that day's woik tho haidefet he had ever undertaken. The Tabernacle people will evidently have no cause for complaint that they aie ne\or " visited " by tho pastor. * V it # * * * # * It ia interesting to spend an hour in tho Public Libraiy and notice the clitfetenL styles jf the earnest s'udents who haunt thoso precincts. First and foremost comes tho regular visitor, who with quiet step marches down to his particular corno-, piuk-s up some classic work, opuns at the exact spot he left off the day before, and immediately becomes oblivious to all others. Then there is the earnest student cramming for the jforthcoming examination. JHeyor «»he,,. a<3 the 1 case mny be, litter? the table all ' over with books and makes copious notes, as if success depended on the amount of , extract matter obtained. Then there isthe giil graduate. Zamiel would fain add "sweet" according to custom, , biit really candour compels him to state that the term would scarcely be correct if applied to some of the frigid-looking beings, with spectacles on noao, vi ho legularly attend. Sometimes a quiet-looking man may be seen sitting all alone " carelessly turning over the leaves of some illustrated periodical. At times he becomes absorbed, but ne\er so much so that he fails to scan the faces of all who enter and leave the Libraiy. Some might think ho wa& merely a casual loiterer, but puch is not the ease, for that gentleman is on duty. He is a detective engaged taking a mental inventory of the general appearance of the visitors, so that if necessary he could identify them again. Another class of regular visitors are the children from the nearest schools? — girls 'and' boys fiom 12 to 15 years of age, who en<r«*rly delv-g into the novels of Scott and •Dickens. - It id also amusing to watch '\he varied walks of the visitors. There is tho shy damsel who glides past in a t deprecating manner aa if paying like Paul l'ry, "I hope I. .don't intrude." Another walks in with a quiet tread so as not to .disturb the readers, while occasionally a little fellow about five feet nothing passes along with tho self-assertive tread of a Grenadier. The leneth of hie stride nearly cracks his back, and when his foot lands the room shakes, and all look up expecting to see a man coming along. Occasionally the greyheaded founder of the Library passes quietly along with his grey head unbardd, artd a pleased smile passes over his countenance as he sees the youth . of.the city busily engaged reading the treasures stored up in the volumes presented by himself. 'Perhaps of all the visitors his is the happiest time. * # # Automatic weighing machines are now being used in various parts of the city, and" it is amusing to wa*ch some of tho. u e who patronise theso inventions. Mow it is the small boy eager to learn what is hi." tighting weight. Then a bevy of fair damsels come along and, after the u.iual tittering and cnes of " You go first," they one after another try the machine. Generally the plumped one sniffs her nose and declares that the machine is out of order. One afternoon recently a couple of young bloods arrived at the machine. Tho first slipped in his penny and was duly weighed, but his companion tried to " get the drop :': ' on that machine. Ho had a large halfpenny in his pocket, and he slipped this into the slit, thu? attempting to rob the propiietor of one half the fee. Imagine hib disgust when he found that instead of assisting to work a swindle the machine declined to work at all. As soon as the true state ot affairs broke on the bystanders, he found himself subjected to an amount of bantering. His coin was gone and his weight remained unregistered. After giving one rejjretful glance at the machine the would-be clever man got oft, and said, "Confound it ! That was an old halfpenny that I have carried for years for luck." His fiiend laughingly ausrgesied that he had better t'Ti'ow in another halfpenny, but he declined, and as he went away was heatd declaring that he would get even with that machine yet if lie had to hammer out a piece of lead to the size and weight of a penny.