Page 8 Advertisements Column 1

Te Aroha News, Volume VII, Issue 418, 9 November 1889, Page 8

WHY TIIKV TMUIDED.

(After the Meeting.) TT.idbn.istlyhuk— l h.u kod 'KiedV mount, 1 thoimhl the bcag.ir cne.'dn'l 10-c._ The biutosm is)n-i up; In* lame in lifth— : L>'t'- do a lioo'//\ Trc landod (ift.\ qui>l, to-driv ; St.irled with U-'n — that's not h nl 'bizz.' I'll stand a rli'nk. So come along. And have some 'lizz.'

(In the City.) Business i* dull. There's nothing going, I haven't done a stioko of Lite. I want a think to cheer me up. Lot's 'lul'ricate.' jl/?/ trade is bii-k, I'm worked to death. I don't cue, while 1 make the 'jhink.' I'm s-uie I've earned a lost just now — I'll stand the drink.

(Luncheon Time.) Jly appetite is bad, old man, Oh, here's a pub — just \ a V* drop in ; Befoie my lunjheon I must have Bitters and gin. It's not ten minutes bince 1 lunched, I cannot quite digest my uhecse. 1 think T ju^t cm do a nip, Oi b'"dPil\ — please.

(The Hail ray Station 4.15 pm.) I've had a 1 un to c.ilclj the train, I'm t'ursty, tired, hot, and quee>', We do not st.-ut til! eighteen pa&t — list's h.ive i» lioci . ]>een \\aitm» ioi the iabl half horn ; A be;istl\ colil I'm snro I've got. I'm shiv'iing, <unl must have d 'go' Of biaiuh hot.

(At the Chb.) JLin hoi lid luc-lc at t-.nils, thi- week ; l'\e 'dropped' a hundred — moie or le^s. Say what's 30111 'fluid.' 1 must have A l\. and S. You'll have n drink with me. deah boy. 3've 'picked up' eighty. I nni^t stand. JiidL touch the bell. W.iiter — borne ' fizz' You know the brand.

(Seven Dials — Dog Fancier's). Luck's down, old pal, things ain't di.itf ; Theie's fourpence — all the biass I've got. We'll go and bite il hovel 'eie, And 'aye a 'pot,' Go on, and put \er coin haway. I got a 'thick 'un for the pu >• Bill sold him me for 'arf-a-quid — I s ] ! lush yer hup.

(Co. Cork— At the Fair). Oeh, Mick alanna, have ye heejed? J'm manied to Tim DooKm's lass. Come in and dhrink her health, n>e bhoy I'll stand a glass. Ah, Pat, avid', me woife is dead ; I'm kilt entoirely wid grief. A dhrop ay sperrits will I'm shure, Givemerelaef.

■ n I "Now, sir," said the judfce, who had been sorely tiied by the stupidity of the preceding witness, "I want jou to give your testimony so that the jury can form Mi intelligent idaa of the m.ittor, or I will commit you for contempt." The witness looked earnestly upon the jury, and then shook his head det-paiiinglj* as he ro*.e and left the box. "Send me to gaol, judge," he said, resignedly ; '• theie's no us-e \vasi> in' time here." He was excused.

DAVID lyiTCr TT7ALLACE AVID IYJL XJ# VV ALL ACE WAIOiiONGOMAI. AGRICULTURAL IMPLEMENT MAKER, SHOEING & GENERAL BLACKSMITH GOOD WORKMANSHIP CHARGES AGRICULTURAL IMPLEMENTS At Auckland Prices. ESTIMATES GIVEN For Alp Ki^ds of Iron Work 7 GIVE WALLACE A TRIAL. NOTE ADDRESS— Premises lately oc pied byW. J, near Battery.

TJIE TE AROIIA AND OHINEMUBI NEWS Is piibliblictl eveiy WEDNESDAY AND SATURDAY, at the Office, WMtnker street, Te Arolia, N. Z. Terms of Sodscrh'tion : HI per annum, delivered in and around Te Aioluu £1 5s per annum, posted or delivered to any portion of New Zealand. QUI3SCRIREOS can commence at any O date, and will be charged in proportion to the cml of the cm rent quarter. Notice to discontinue subset ipl ion MUST I}E IN WRITING, nnd poMed, or de Ijvered io the Ofik-e direct, addressed to the Manager. Vtiibal messages to ti.ivelier& or agents will in no ca<-e be regarded, rule will be stiictly adhered to.

ADVERTISE WELL. =♦ Advertise well J 'tis the secret of glory ; Stick to ihe principle fast as a leech ;' Think of the names thac as« famous in story ; Advei Use vreil in ihe lesson they teachMw Uawe men eoni}»ssed so wide aeonneefcion Made the wp^id swallow their nostrums at will? 5 3? is by that constaKt and serious reflection, Advertise welL 1$ tjieir pjiiieipJLe stilL Advertise well ! yon will never repeat it ; Nofliinor tnojre wise can a bosiness man do. Stick to iMs laiotfo^ sa&oever forget it ; Adrerdac well — ifc will pull joa safe tfarough-5-dvertiseweli: do nofe iiiinic -a-haf; 'twlil cost you j Publishers' bills are Irafc frleods in disguise. How do yoa kQxnr wnatyoareaulaos lias co^s •yoa? Would you I?e ipcal^y you pi^tst adrerflse, Adtv3rtss3 I ihoßßii business be waning ~, Those whafpend£ieestmtiafciv£ainthec7id. Up and be doing 5 no tueei foe coa?}^aining -, Act for vowrsdl and be your own I licaaeL ,£*j7erttS3 well ? all iaa»s liavea torn ing ; Notliin? pajs freJter rixan paper tm d ink. 5ti 3QSAa I* daily th. raol/oare spurai«g JFiad fckifc it brings lliem to €jankfU|)t<-ya