ABSENT MINDED GUESTS. Vagaries that Vex the Hotel "Clerk.

Te Aroha News, Volume VII, Issue 414, 26 October 1889, Page 6

ABSENT MINDED GUESTS. Vagaries that Vex the Hotel "Clerk.

' We see a groat deal of the queer side of human nature,' said a New York hotel clerk the other day to a reporter of the ' Chicago Tribune,' ' and I think absent • minded people give us aa muoh trouble as any other class of customers ; but there is generally so much to amuse in their mistakes that they are willingly forgiven. 1 can generally * spot ' absent - minded people by the quickness with which they assume a preoccupied air whenever the conversation or their surroundings do not interest then*. It is not often, however, that a perfectly sane and sober man forgets hi? own name ; yet euch a caee once came under my observation. A stranger to New York came in here one day, seeming to b.o a little

Dazed With the Bustle of the Crowded Streets. Ho was one of that kind of men you often bump against in Broadway, as he walks backward with his mouth a little open and his eyes n'xed on the ninth storey of some building. As lie camo up to the desk I pushed the register toward him. He took the pen, dipped it in the ink, and then hesitated, scowled, and then blushed. Thinking that perhaps he could not write, 1 pulled the register towards me to write it myself, and said— " What name?" "I'll bo hanged if I haven't forgotten it," he said, as mad as a hatter. I looked at the man in astonishment, and said "'Jive me your card." This brought it to his memory in a flash. Probably that part of his " thinker " that recollected founds was taking a rest, but that part which remembered how his name looked when it was written out was on duty. We had

A Wealthy Old L\py ■baying with us last winter. She was sitting in the parlour nil alono, musing in front of an open grate fire one day, when aho began to call loudly for the parlour maid. Roceiving no answer, she rang the electric boll, which she could reach without rising, so long that I thought something must be wrong, and I sent two bell boys upstairs "on the dead ran." When they reached her the fire was burning tiorcely, and her face was red with the heat and with indignation. " Bring me the tire screen," she almost screamed ; " such lazy servants [ never saw. I have been calling for an hour. Bring me it at once before I am roa6ted to death." " Certainly, ma'am," said one of the boys, with a grin, " but mightn't you have pushed back your chair a little?" 4I Upon my word," she replied, "I never thought of that." Then she burst out laughing. "If my friends hear of this,'' ehe added, " they'll think I'm in my dotage," and she gave the boys a halfdollar each and made them swear to keep it all a secret.

Combining Business With Pi.easi're. ' I had a fussy man ol middle age come here last fall with a young wife. They wore on their wedding tour. She was a timid, little, pale, lonely-looking, sickly thing, and kept her room nearly all tie time. He was out all day visiting tho wholesale places, buying goods for his store in a Western city, thus combining buiiness with pleasure in a thrifty Chicago way. He spent his money freely though, and had no end of traps, and trunks, and parcels sent to the hotel. When he got ready to start for home he counted over the whole pile with great care, and checked i them off on hi 3 fingers. •• Look here, porter," he snapped out, " there's something missing." "I think not," Raid fclm porter; "what is it?" "I don't know," replied the bridegroom, dubiously, " but I feel sure there's something else. I know I'm forgetting something. Four Saratogas, two leather trunks, one linen cbvered ; three big travelling bags, one grip, two bundles in shawl straps, one hatbox, bunch of sticks and umbrellas — that) seems to me all, but I feel sure I'm leaving something behind,, and yet I can't think what.it is." "Well," I broke in, "jou'll miss -your train if you delay any longer. If you discover your loss wire us at once, and we'll keep it for you till your return or send it to you. Your wife has sent down word fchati she is in the parlour, and " "My wife !"' he ejaculated, slapping himself,; "of course, that's it. I had forgotten all about her. How absurd ! Weli, the augh's on me this time. Good-by."' 'I have known a man,' continued the hotel clerk, ' to go to the room to dress for a dinner at the house of a friend. By the time he had got off his business suit the dinner had vanished from his mind, which was still running on busine*R and plans for the morrow. The gas being lit and the process of undressing evidently suggested bed-time to him for he continued to disrobo, turned out the light and got in bed. An he did not appear at the dinner, where he was fully expected, the host telephoned down to the oiiice to know if Mr B. had suddenly been taken ill or if we know where he was. A boy went to his room and found him sleeping 'soundly.

Leaving Many Things Bkhind. • People often forget what they have ordered in the restaurant before the dish is served, and will protest that they asked for something quits different. I have known a merchant start down town to business on Sunday morning, and not realise the situation till he found the shutters up on his own f tore, and I once had a man board here all one winter who used to ask me to lend him a book very frequently. I always lent him the same copy of " Scribner'3 Magazine," all I had by mo, and he would read it for an hour or so, and then return it with thanks. Once I asked him what he thought of it. He said that it was a good .number of the magazine, no doubt, but ho had heard the stories somewhere before, he thought. We have a storeroom full of umbrellas, canes, brushes, etc., that guests have left behind inadvertently, not to mention trunks, whose owners "skipped" without paying their bills. Wo have more night-gowns in stock than would set up an underwear department of a little dry-goods store. Gueste leave them on the bed, the chambermaid folds them neatly up under the pillow, and there they are overlooked in the packing-up. ' But there is nothing amusing about that phase of absent-mindedness,' said the clerk. * That is only « nuisance. One of our steady patrons, however, made me laugh heartily the other day.

He Susi'kctkd a New Chambermaid of stealing things from his room, and I was going to dismiss her at once. He thought ho would like to be sure that ehe was guilty ! first, however, and I suggested that he leave a marked coin lying on hia bureau. Next morning when he came down he said — "I improved somewhat on your trick, old man. I thought that leaving one coin in a conspicuous place would look so palpably like the old trick that the cunning little fox might not bite at it ab all. I'm a keen judge of human nature, you know. So I just placed a whole handful of small coins on the bedclothes, as if I had been emptying my pockets and had forgotten them, and if the girl's dishonest she'll think she can take one or two pieces \* ithout their being misatd." "'lt may be an expensive bait, however," I said ; perhaps she will scoop it all. How much did you leave ?" • " By Jove," ho feaid, " I forgot to counfc