SOME CLERICAL STORIES

Te Aroha News, Volume VII, Issue 381, 3 July 1889, Page 4

SOME CLERICAL STORIES

( Is Yoi\ A Meemstjib?' I remember taking a fellow-clergyman, noted for homeliness of garb and powers ot witty conversation, to call at the house ot an acquaintance. The good people enjoyed his visit without a suspicion of his profession, which his dress, indeed, did not disclose. A few days after I met our host, and he spoke warmly of the absent, stranger. 'And what may he be in his am deestrick ?' ' Oh, he is a minister of such and such a place. ' ' What ! is yon a meenisfcer?'

C A Better Judge o' a Fat Beast. And shortly after my own ordination, a farmer returning from market entered the railway compartment where some of our clerical body were already seated. He waa introduced to the new member of Presbytery, bub said not a word. Arriving at his station, he got out and stood at the door. ' An' ye tell me this is the new meenister ?' He looked long and sadly at the person referred to. Then with a sigh—' Weel-a-weel,' he remarked finally, ' am a better judge o' a fat beast than o' a meenipter.'

'The Max Has Nab Neck 1' This feeling of disappointment in a cherished ideal shows itself in the criticism sometimes indulged in after sermon. ' How did you like the minister we had last Sabbath ?' was the question put to an elder. The clergyman in this instance was very short and enormously fat. ' Hoots, hoots, sir ! that man has nae neck !'

Thee Destroyek. Cooper's Tree and Shrub Destroyer, of which I wrote last month, is considered a failure, as some of' the settlers have tried some of the dead stumps, and they appear to burn no better with it than they would without it.

•Shiny Boots.' [ ■ A country shoemaker once nearly wrecked his minister's gravity,, as he busily brushed the mud off the ecclesiastical feet, by running on thus :—: — , '*Eh,!sir, it's no' a day for ye to be.oot. Sic gutters beyond belief, and you on your fut ! Bide a wee or I pit a haet o' polish on them. Ye maun never gang aboot the toon wi sic feet. A minister's nae accoont ava 'ithoot shiny boots !', — From f About Galloway Folk,' by a Galloway Herd.

The fastest of British cruisers, the She 1 * drake, ,21 knots; jusfc launched, isa stee* twin' screw. 1 : t< * , ,