O-U-G-H. A Fresh Hack at an Old Knot. [Enter M. Jean Crapaud, who speaks.]

Te Aroha News, Volume VI, Issue 374, 5 June 1889, Page 3

O-U-G-H. A Fresh Hack at an Old Knot. [Enter M. Jean Crapaud, who speaks.]

I'm taught p-1-o-u-g-h Shall be pronounced ' plow.' • Zat's easy wen you know,' I say • Mon Anglais I'll get through.' My teacher say zat in zat case O-u-g-h is 'oo.' And zen I laugh and say to him, ' Zees Anglais make me cough.' Ho say, ' Not coo, but in zat word O-u-g-h is " oil." Oh, sacro blou ! such varied sounds Of words make me hiccough ! Ho say, ' Again, mon friend ees wrong ; O-u-g-his "up," In hiccough.' Zen I cry. 'No more, Tcou make my throat teel rough,' * Non ! non !' he cry, * You are not right— O-u-g-his"uflV" I say. * I try to speak your words, I can't prononz zem though !' ' In time 3'ou'll learn, but now you're wrong ; O-u-g-h is " owe." ' ' I'll try no more, I sail go mad ; I'll drown me in ze lough.' ' But ero you drown yourself.' said he, ' O u-g-h is "ock."' He taught no more ! I held- him fast ! And killed him wiz a rough ! Charles Battell Loomis, in 'New York Evening Post.'

Elementary Mathematics. — Teacher : " Tommy, what is half of eight?" Pupil : " Sideways or top ?" Teacher : " What do you mean?" Pupil : " Why, half from th« top of 8 is 0, and half sideways ia 5."..,^^