Alleged Wit.

Te Aroha News, Volume VI, Issue 340, 6 February 1889, Page 3

Alleged Wit.

A kistxg man. — A growing lad. Fancy work — Castle in the air. Terribly stuck up.— Telegraph polos. Nejys of the weak — The hospital reports. The springtime of IJfe— <Qur dancing days. Don't ask a blacksmith to give up his pet vice. A "dairy that needs little water — The di'omedary. Always at tho foot of the class — The dancing-master. The rain of terror. — For a lady with no umbrella and a new bonnet. While boxing increases the s'ze of a man's arm it doubles his fist. ' Talk is cheap ' — but not when a laAvyer is pleading for you. A bad cigar is like the small boy at school — always trying to go out. When a cat gives an entertainment from the top of a wall, it isn't the cat we object to, it's tho waul. ' Don't marry a woman who knows 1e.«3 than you do,' says Ruskin. That is hard on some men. •Is there any cure for snoring ?' We be lieve there is but ono sovereign cure, namely, to keep awake. It is all bosh about women being afraid to tell their age. The trouble is that people are afraid to ask 'em, and perhaps it is safer not to. The man who tried to get up a concert with the band of a hat is the same genius who a few days since played upon the affections of a young 1 lady. Magistiato : 'So you admit having been engaged in making counterfeit money?' Prisoner : ' Yes, your honour ; you see the supply of tho genuine article is so very, very short,'