A HUSBAND'S RESPONSIBILITIES.

Te Aroha News, Volume VI, Issue 332, 9 January 1889, Page 5

A HUSBAND'S RESPONSIBILITIES.

When bedtime comes, and curtains fall, And round I go the doors to lock, JEre lamps «o out my wiile dotli call. ' Remember, dear, to wind Ihe clock." When boots arc off", and J'or the day A II irksome care? seem put to roul, 1 hear wife's voice from dreamland Stiy, ' Be sure yon put the kitten out,.' When .stretched hcnoalh Hie sheets 7 lie, And heavy lids have ceased to wink, From cradle bod there comes a cry. ' 1 want a d wink ! 1 want a dtirink !'

' Bridget, did you get the (lowers that I am io wear to-night in my hiur?' ' Yes, mum, but ' 'But what?' 'I've mislaid fcho hair, mum !'

A placard po-jbod throughout; ti country wwn onco announced the opening of tho Theatre Royal ' nndoi- the maiuin-omenb of Mihs nowly decoi.alcd and paiuled.'

'Thank Heaven !' o\olaimed a fond fathei,as< ho paced the 100 m at midnight with his howling heii, ' bhunk heaven, you are not twins,'

' Wall, may 1 nope, then, doai'ofc, that at some time 1 may have the happiness of making you my wife?' 'Us, 1 hope ,so, I am ?uie,' she leplied, ' L am j;oltitiy: tiicd of auinjj follows for bicach ot promise.'

Nothing exasperates n wniiian who has been bluulin^ her eyes fiom the jjaslight with hei- liand all thee%enin^ &o much a^> to Jind that after all she had left her best diamond ling on t-he wafetaland.

A j'oung lady, aftei libtenin^ to !ier lovoi't; doMiiiption of the -ctlny t «n, exclaimed, ' Oh, Alphon^e ! AlphonaO ! what a soul you lui\c for avb ! You weio meant foi a ificul painter !' Her father unexpectedly c'io-jO behind them added, 'and •,'Uuiui !'

A lady, a ie»n]ai chopper, who had made an untoi'tunatc assistant tumble ovei all the stockings in the fehop, ob|eefced that none \\eie lung etiou^h. * i want," she &aid, ' the )ongos*l hose that ib made' ' Then, madam,' was the veph , ' \on had better apply ab the next t'nc engine station.'

' The next lime you son<? delicacies to my wife,' remarked tbo mendicant, ' I wish you wouldn't bend any moio jam.' 'No 1 " ' !No : please send some ]elly. ' Doesn't your wife HUo jam ?' ' Yes, but I don't,.'

Cm ions Epitaph. — JiiHcydon, Yorkshiio, the following; inscription is? to be found :- - •Herolieth the bod}' ot "William Strut lon, of Paddinn-ton, buried May 18th, 1834, aged 97, who 1-ad by his first, wife '28 children ; and by a second 17 ; own father to 45: grandfather to 86; greatgrandfather to 97 ; and gieat great oiandfather to 23 ; in all '2ZI.