LITTLE FOLKS. ENGLISH AS SHE IS SP0KE.

Te Aroha News, Volume VI, Issue 328, 26 December 1888, Page 3

LITTLE FOLKS. ENGLISH AS SHE IS SPOKE.

The teacher, a lesson lie taught, ; The preacher, a sermon lie praughl ; The stealor,' he'stole ; The heelor. ho^holo ; And the scrcecher, he awfully scraught. The long-windedspeaker, ho apoke : The poor oflice-seeker, he.soke ; The runner, he ran ; ' The dunner.hadan ;' And the shrioker, he horribly ahroke. The flyer, to Canada How ; The buyer, on credit he bew The doer, he did ; The sucr, he sid ; And the liar (a fisherman), lew. The writer, this nonsense he -wrote : The lighter (an editor), fote ; The swimmer, he swam ; The skimmer, he skam ; And the biter was hungry and bote.

The baby 'a little game. — Bawl.

Why is a fat man like water ? — Because neither can run uphill,

What is that which nobody wants, and nobody likes to lose ?— A lawsuit. Why are balloons in the air like vaga bonds ? — Because they hare no visible means of support.

A boy with elbows out was asked the cause, and replied, 'I laughed in my sleevei till I burst them.'

A gentleman, talking seiiously to a street waif, said. 'My boy, do you know what a lie means ?' ' Oh, don'b I just,' replied he, •Itelllotso"em.'

A little girl on hearing it said that she was born on the Queen's birthday, took no notice of ib at the time, but a day or tw o afterwards asked her father if aha and the Queen were twins.

A little girl was heard telling another, ( My father is taller and handsomer urtd cleverer than yours.' For a moment the other looked rather put out, but, suddenly brightening up, she answered. ' Pcrhnp* he is; but mine is much older thnu yr»ur?.'

'Auntie, have you seen the money-bo* George gave inn last Christina* ?' ' Xv«», Willie, but I suppose it's one of those you can't get the money out of? 1 'I don't know, auntie, because you sco I huverft been able to get any money into it, yut, ■was the suggestive ieply.

'Don't you wa^bo your time clipping oil' the branches,' Miid the woodman In hit- con, ' but lay your axe at the roob of Mio trri'. 1 And bhe young man went out and InM his axe at the root of the tree, like a and dutiful boy, and then went, tishinjj. Theio is nothing so beautiful as filial obedience

Sunday School Finance. — Teacher (to juvenile): Well, Tom, where is voru col lecting card ? How much have vou'* for bhepoor little negro boys ? Tom : Twopence, sir, and there's a penny oil Vat lor » travelling expenses. You see, s»ir, 1 bud to spend the first penny 1 cob in paying my car when I got the second one.

Our Queen takes a kindly interest \n th« pleasuresof her many grandchildren. She has just given orders for the construction of a gymnasium at Balmoral similar to that which had given such great delight to. Hie younger generation at Osborne. Sowo of the young Princes and Prince««es liavo shown great capabilities in this direction.

Ab a school board examination the inspector agked a boy if he could forgive those who had wronged him. 'Could you,' w»UI the inspector, ' forgive a boy, for example, who had insulted or struck you ?' "Y-e-s, sir,' replied the boy, very slowly, 'I—think—I — could,' but be added, in a much moro rapid manner, 'I could if he was bigger than I.' / ____ f

A four-year-old was observed making ( queer movements with his elbow. Hi« [ aunt asked him what he was doing. ' Crooking my elbow,' said the precocious. ' Bub what are you crooking your elbow' for, Johnny ?' ' 'Cause I want ;to deb a nii o little strawberry on my nose.' i 'But that won't make a strawberry, Johnny.' x^ea ib will, for.itho cook says" pop<i wou^l \\ t have the; big i strawberry on his uosjo.if he didn't crook his elbow so often. ' <