CARL DUNDER. More Precautions Against Fire.

Te Aroha News, Volume VI, Issue 320, 28 November 1888, Page 5

CARL DUNDER. More Precautions Against Fire.

odder day,' said'CaribDun £\ f ?/• \lk? der > as he wenb down to sea jjj © (%|j|ft the Sergeant yesterday, ' a • f 8 <i 7* n strange shentlemans 'comes £ I ©Jr y J intomyblace. Vh as I Carl 3n o Y*/»y I)undel ' ? I vhas - - Sa - V> *jhJj^3yW/? Dunder, vhas your family oop shtairs? She vhas. Urn ! Vhell, I vhas told so, but I doan' belief him. It vhas criminal carelessness on your part. Pooty soon he shows me dot my placo can get on fire in six hoonered deeferent places, und we vhas all burned ood in our beds. Dot make 3 me scared.' ' He wanted to sell you a fire escape.' 1 No. he doan' haf some.' ' Well, what was ib ?' ' He makes me a speaking-tube to go oop shtairs. One end vhas out door, so der policeman can call me from der sidewalk if a fire vha* going. He makes der price so reasonable~dot all can afford him, und he puts in a whisile.' ' I see.' 'Vhell, all der boya come in und see him, und eaferypody pays he vLas a good thing. It vhas only fife dolJar to save all our lives.' ' Which are worth at least twice that,'re< plied the Serjeant. ' I goes to ped at 10 o'clock,' continued Mr Dunder, without noticing the hlui*, v und I doan' fall a&hlccp before &omepody blows dot whistle mit der lube, und a voice says ; ' Hello ! Dunder !' ' Yes, dot vhas me. Vhas I all on fire ?' ' Oh, no. I shust call you oop to ask if you ever had a soft corn between your toes t ' Nefer ! yon vhas a Joafer !' ' Oh, I vhas, eh ! I'll see }ou to-morrow. Good night, old crab-apple !' ' lb vhas some loafer, Sergeant, und I vhas so mad I can't go to shlcep. My wife says I shall let it all go und keep quiet, but in a few minutes dot whistle blows again und somepody softly calls me : * Hello ! Dunder !' ' Yes ; dot vhas me I' ' Any bigns of lire oop shtairs !' 'No.' ' Und I doan' see none oudt here. -If you, should be a-fire oop dere, please whistle down queek, so dob we can run avhay.' ' Who vhas you ?' c Der L4ofernor of Ohio. I vhill call around to-moirow.' ' Viioll, Sergeant, I doan' be in bed ten minutes again before somepody whistle! again. I goes oafer by der tube und says : * Who vhas dere V 'Me. 1 * Who vhas me V ' Der policeman. How vhas> it oop dere?' 'All light.' ' Und she vhas all right down heie. Dot vha3 a splendid idea of 3'ours, Mr. Dunder. You vhill never be purned oop in your bed, * Did you want something?' * Oh, no. Being as 1 vhas passing by 1 shusb try der tube to see if he vhas all right, Good night, old man.' ' Go on,' said the Sergeant, as Mr Dundet paused. ' In ten minutes more dot whistle blows again, und eafery ten minutes all dot night I haf to shump oudc of bed und say : •Hello ! Who vhas dot?' 'Your friend, Shudge Comeback.' ' Und \has you want ?' ' Can you lend me fife dollar 'till Satut day?' •No.' 'Vhell doan' blow my head off. Can't ; lend me a fiver, eh V I 'No!' , ! * Vhell, dob settles me. Dis vhas a splendid idea of yours. I'll come over and talk mit you eafery few minutes.' ' I doan' shleep one wink all dot nighfc, und my wife und Shake vhas all proke up. Vhen daylight comes I sma^h dot pipe all to pieces mib der ax und lick two men who comes in und makes fun of me. Vhas Ito blame, Sergeant ?' c Oh, no.' * Vhas I some greenhorns V *No, let me see where the warrants are !' * Warrants ! For me ?' * Two warrants for assault and battery. Might as well serve them on you here. If you can show self-defence or great provocation you can probably get off with a nominal fine, but if you can'b it will •' But Mr. Dunder had gone, and he didn't return for his hat, which blew ofl at the door.