MR AND MRS BOWSER. Mr Bowser as a Nurse.

Te Aroha News, Volume VI, Issue 320, 28 November 1888, Page 5

MR AND MRS BOWSER. Mr Bowser as a Nurse.

The other night about midnight, 1 awok e *n awful pain. It was a return of my old complaint, bilious colic, and it had come with a vengeance. Mr Bowser lay sleeping like a log, and^l waited to the last moment before waking him up. He was on the broad of his back, knees up, and snoring like a trooper when I shook him. lie giowled and groaned and yawned for a couple of minutes, and then opened his eyes and drawled : • Heard burglars down slah'3, I suppose V ' Mr Bowser, 1 am sick !' ' What ! And right here in the middle of the night V * Yes, and very :>ick, Loo. I've got a bilious attack !' 'Is that all? I've had a thousand of 'em, and they don't amount to shucks. Go to sleep and you'll be all right in the morning.' 'Mr Bowber, I don't want to frighten you, but I must have help at once ! You must get right up and do something for me. ' 'Eh Get up ! Have I got to get. up ?' ' You must. ' ' That's just like you ! If you feel an ache or a pain I must be aroused and hustled out of bed ! Why didn't you have your colic in the afternoon ?' ' Get me something as quick as you can |! He got oft the bed, fell over a chair, got into some of his clothes, and wanted to know what he should do. 'Get the Jamaica ginger first. Tt'.s in the china closet down stairs.' ' Yes, of course ib is ! You hadn't sense enough to bring it upstairs, whcie it would be at hand if we wanted it !' He went downstairs and rattled around for ten minutes, and then came back to ask : ' Is it in a paper or box V ' It's in a bottle. I thought you knew what Jamaica ginger A\as.' * And perhaps I do ! Perhaps I wasn't running a ginger faini in Jamaica when yon were in the A, B, C class at school !' It took him fifteen minutes more to find it, and as I swallowed the dose he chucked off his clothes and jumped into bed with the remark : ' Now go to sleep and behave yourself ; it's most 1 o'clock.' The ginger eased me for a tew minutes, and then I had to shake Mr Bowser again. ' W-what now ?' he growled. ' You'll have to get up again. The pain is worse. ' ' Mrs Bowser, do you mean to tell me that that colic wasn't knocked into the middle of next July by that dose ?' 'It is worse than ever. Please, do get up. 1 'Oh, I'll get up, but this matter will be investigated to-morrow ! We'll see whether it takes a whole drug store to cure a simple colic, or whether you are revenging on me. W T hat do you u ant now V ' I must have some peppermint to settle ;my stomach. You'll find it ■ ' ' Down stairs, of couxse, just where we'd never use it ! I'll make a change in this house to-morrow or know the reason why !' i He bumped and stumbled his way down ' stairs, rattled the bottlesaround, and finally ' brought what I wanted. I ' There, now,' he said as he gave me a dose ! in water, ' don't lei me hear anything more about colic to-night. You've probably stuffed yourself with fruit. Let this be a solemn warning to you.' He got into bed again, but before he could get up a snore 1 was in such pain that I had to arouse him again. ' What 1 what !' he shouted as he sat up on end. ' Mrs Bowser, I've bore a great deal from you for the sake of our child, but don't drive me to the limit ! What's the matter ?' • It's the colic.' ' What ! That same cotfo *' 'Yes.' 'It can't be. No one ever heard such a case. That colic was cured fifteen minutes ago.' ' Well, this is a new one, then, and I've got to have help light away; you must get me some mustard. You'll find it in a tin box ' ' Down stairs ?' 'Yes.' 'Of course ! It's a wonder you don't keop it at the barn ! If I ever live to see another clay I'll cover this bedroom with ginger, peppermint and mustard a fcot deep !' He found the mustard in about ten minutes, and I asked him if he thought, he could mako a plaster. 'Cevfcainly. You wet the mustard,

spread it on a piece of old flannel underskirt, and the job is done. I've made a million of them.' ' Bub you must mix in half flour.' * And the flour is downstairs !' * Y-yes.' ' Mrs Bowser !' he said as his hair seemed to rise on end, « the worm is getting ready to turn ! Look out when he does ! After to-night we'll see if all the flour in this house has gob to be kept down stairs to please some whim of yours !' When he came back with it I told him he'd find, a part of an old sheet in the top drawer of the chest in the wardrobe. He rummaged for about five minutes, got mad because he couldn't find it, and came back with a piece of one of my white aprons. Then he made a mixture, poured it out and patted it into a cake with his hand, and as he passed it to me he made ready for bed with the remark : 'If you don't get better soon I shall ring for the ambulance and send you to the hospital. It may bo that you are going insane.' As soon a& he got asleep I got to the telephono und called the doctor. The good man came up and stayed half an hour, left tro some medicine, and Mr Bow&er snoied nil through it. I was much better in the morning, and he stood with his vest halfway on to &ay ; 'Of course you are better ! I don't claim to know more than all other people on earth put together, bub 1 do know just what to do tor bilious colic. Mrs; Bowser, I saved your lite la&t night, and I hope you feel a proper gratitude !'