The Lady Doctor and the Boil

Te Aroha News, Volume VI, Issue 304, 3 October 1888, Page 5

The Lady Doctor and the Boil

Upon one occasion I was travelling by rail | n the States, and was much troubled with a very extensive and business-like boil. Now a boil at any time, when it means business, is a very unpleasant companion, especially on a railway journey, and this particular one happened to be situated on a certain part of my anatomy where it caused the process of sitting down only to be undertaken after due and grave confederation, and indulged in only for the shortest period, so I decided on breaking the journey at Blankville and obtaining medical relief. We arrived about 10 p.m. and I calculated to wait till m rnin£f before sending for the doctor, and after issuing the necessary instructions for his sawbonesship to be summoned I turned in. Next morning about 8 o'clock I was awakened by the waiter, who informed me the doctor had arrived, and handed me a card, ' Dr. Mary Jones !' 4 Great Scott !' was my exclamation. ' One of these blessed lady doctors who are becoming too plentiful.' Here was a pretty go f I was on the point of requesting the waiter to inform her that her services were happily nob required, when she appeared at the door. ' Morning, sir,' said she, ' what can Ido for you ?' ' Oh,' I replied, rapidly assuming the hue of a boiled lobster, ' the fact is, - er - madam, I—cI — cr — wanted a gentleman doctor — er— ' 'Nonsense, my dear sir.' she broke in ; ' they are quite out of fashion now. Tell me what's wrong and I'll soon fix you.' ' But my dear madam,' I cried," ' I have nothing wrong — cr — in fact— cr — it is all a mistake, don't you know. I have only a small boil which does not hurt at all now.' It was going it like winking at, this very moment and it was as much as I could do to keep from crying. 'Ah !' oxclaimod her ladyship, ' a boil, eh ! Oh, I'll soon settle his little game. Let's have a look at him,' and she made a 'go' at the bedclothes It was awful ! ' Never ! Don't touch me!' I cried, grabbing the blankets like mad, bub it only made her think that I was afraid of the pain. So she tried coaxing. • Now, my dear fellow, don't be stupid. I can just* take all the pain out of that fellow in a jiffey. I assure you it won't hurt a little bit, and I am sure you will thank me for it afterwards.' I would have thanked her if she had never been born. I had serious thoughts of jumping up and making a bold rush for the door, when she informed me to ' just wait till she fetched her instruments, and she would make a start and send me along thanking providence for providing the lonely traveller with such' skilful attention.' As soon as she was out of the room I slipped into my toga in about the quickest time on record and was Ptreaking it downstairs four steps at a time, but unfortunately the maid or someone had left a piece of soap on the stairs about ■ half way up, and when I finally landed at the bottom on my back, that aggravating and businesslike boil had received such a. shock to its system as to put 1 it quite out of the power of any, medico, male or female, to operate upon it.

Not " a single Frenchman* attended -Bazain^s funeralVafc Madrid. I)eabh was caused by heart disease. N %, t ,":V,r.> I .There ,haye ,;beeh^26 hf Buioides , from the Clifbon^lbridee iri "Englaricl' in"the; 24 yy 5 earB, since iti'was'buijfc. I The.iumpiß 25Qft. • t <„