Bailie Dobbie's Party.

Te Aroha News, Volume V, Issue 250, 28 March 1888, Page 9

Bailie Dobbies Party.

LT HOUGH a tailor by trade, Bailie Dobbie was a greatly-respected member of the municipal council of the town of Strathkail. lie had a family of six healthy, bigbone d, buxom, grown-up daughters, named in their order of age Bessie, Maggie, Katie, Jennie, Kirstv, and Aggie. The young ladies were all leputed to be partially accomplised, and each was notoriously on the out-look for awell-to-do-husband. Mrs Dobbie, poor body, had struggled Laid, and schemed persistently, to get her gigantic piogeny off hands; but, alas ! to no purpose. Only young men of supposed good means or prospects had the honour of the entice to her house. Bui the mother's efforts in the way of procuring a suitaole husband for any one of her brood had been tantalizingly futile. Any eligible set cap at by one of the misses proved to be as shy as the sea-serpent, and equally difficult to catch. At last, as a supreme endeavour in the way of matchmaking, Bailie Dobbie was prevailed upon to give a grand party. Fust came the important business of selecting the company. j Mrs Dobbie having called the young ■ ladies together, put on her spectacles, and placing pen and paper on the table, was ready to consider the eligibility or otherwise of the various gentlemen recommended by her offspring, and thus make out a list of the desir- ; able persons to he invited. ; ' There's Mr Mactavish, ma/ spoke Jennie, the belle of the family, which term, judging comparatively, did not imply that ihe young lady's charms were of a very rare and radiant order. 'Mr Mactavish ! ' sneered Mrs Dobbie. ' What is he ? A poor, dressedup pauper, who owes your father for a suit of clothes he got a year ago. He won't do. Who next ? ' Numerous lads were mentioned, and affirmed or negatived, until Mr William M'Ginger was suggested. 'Oh, he's only a missionary at a pound a week, or something. I wouldn't marry the fellow,' observed Maggie. * What do you know about him ?' snapped Mrs Dobbie. ' You great fool, you, William's coming out for the kirk. Anyone of you may go further and fare worse than have Mr M'Ginger for a husband. A soft, simple creature, with good prospects — who better could we have at our party ? A man like him can be caught and held fast like a tame rabbit. When you do get him here, see that he's not let slip through your fingers. If you miss an easy chance like M'Ginger, I'll give, up this heartbreaking Jabour of trying to get you husbands. 1 can assure you my mother didn't require to do anything of the kind for me. Mr M'Ginger's to come ! Jennie, you're the quietest — hold on to him from the minute he comes into the house. Talk to him about the Sunday school and your Dorcas Society. He'll surely be interested in these matters.' All the males being satisfactorily settled, the ladies set about the consideration of their own sex. The first proposed was possessed of some personal attractions. Mrs Dobbie laid down her pen, and looked frowningly at her daughters. ' Now, girls,' she said, c let me impress on you that our party's a matter of business — not pleasure. We want no beauties here. My house is not going to be a field for hen birds belonging to other nests to catch mates in. There's you six— there's fifteen gentlemen — so we must fill up the ladies with the plainest, skinniestlooking old creature we can find. That, my dear daughters, will give you all the chances going ; sec that you take the best advantage of them.' One individual selected, of the sere and yellow order of petticoated humanity, alluded to by Mrs Dobbie, was a Miss Jemima Dickson, of whom more anon. The list completed, the invitations were promptly sent out, and, with one or two unimportant exceptions, all accepted. The deficiency was, in the usual way, filled with slop-gaps. We now come to the party. When Mr M'Ginger, a sickly, sallowfaced, bashful youth, arrived, he was immediately pounced upon by Jennie, in pursuance of maternal instructions. The missionary seemed a good deal put out by the young lady's affability, and appeared to be always on the outlook for an avenue of escape. Miss Jemima Dickson entered the apartment, but when she perceived the pair, scowled, bit her lips, and seemed so much put out that she paid no attention to the conversational overtures of a sister wallflower who addressed her. ' Well, how do you like him, Jennie ?' anxiously ineuirea the mater, when she got a chance of her daughter's ear. ' Oh, not very much, ma ? He might do, though, with a kirk a manse, and a good stipend,' replied the piactical maiden. ■ ! In prosecuting the uphill business of hunting husbands for her daughters, Mrs Debbie's tactics had a dash, the brilliancy, the unexpected suddenness of attack, but hardly, the finesse, of those of Napoleon the Great. Indeed, she was apt to scare away the birds as i

they approached her skilfully-spread ner. The master boldly determined to cinch the favourable impresion that he imagined Jennie had made on the missionary by tackling the young gentleman personally. Most enthusiastically she praised her lassies, but reserved special eulogy for Jennie, whom she characterised as a model housewife. 1 Queer/ observed Mrs Debbie, 1 Jennie's always had a thought of marrying a minister, for I assure you, she's none of your light-headed, harumscarum, frivolous girls. Now in a. manse, she'd be the right bud in the right nest' 'No doubt,' stammered the confused M 'Ginger. ' Now is a fine young man like you not thinking about taking a wife ?' 'I have thought of v, ; faltered the youth. ' I'm awfully glad to heai that. I'm sure you'll make a well-doing husband/ ' The jubilant Mrs Dobbie convinced that she was on sure ground, continued, c Have you not asked hei yet, man?' 1 Really, Mrs Dobbie/ the youth blurted out, looking the veritable piosure of perplexity. ' If not, I'll do the business for you — there, my man !' And the gratified mother gave her trembling victim a vigorous dig in the ribs. 'Thank you,' gasped the uncomfortable and confused youth ; ' but I — I — would, you know, prefer personally to ' 1 Then you'll be all light. Just keep your mind easy, William, my dear ; I know she'll take you !' ecstatically exclaimed the happy parent, as she turned away. Approaching her husband, the lady whispered : ' There's one off our hands, anyway !' 'Ye dinna say sac ! Wha?' asked the surprised and gratified bailie. 'Jennie; William iVl'Ginger's the man !' Dancing proceeded in a fast and furious fashion. 'I he rational reels and country dances were discarded, only waltzes, quadrilles, &c., holding the ciicumseribed limits oi the floor. The music, too, was of the newest and most fashionable Older. The elite of Strathkail, like the bear in 'She Stoops to Conquer/ danced to none but the genteelest of tunes.' Afterwards supper, which was done ample justice to, and then dessert and speechmaking. One of the gentlemen, m a neat and appropriate oration, proposed the healths of the worthy hoet, hostess, and famiy, prettily complimenting Mrs Dobbie and the young ladies. He then in feeling language, alluded to the bailee in his public and privatecapacity eulogizing his Solomon-like uprightness as a judge ; his potent, grave, and reverend character as a councillor ; his honesty and integrity as a tiadesman, and his superlative worth as a man. The bailie, who Had imbibed a decent quantity of toddy, responded to the toast in a very garrulous speech. The poor man had not the slightest idea but what his wile had told him regarding the engagement ol M'Gingei? and Jennie was gospel truth, and to the amazement oi the company, r.nd and the dire consternation of lhe missionary, Mr Dobbie made pointed allusion to the interesting subject. A faint scream was heard, and the astonished guests suited when they perceived Miss Jemina Dickson, trembling was passion, erect herself and dauntlessly confront the speaker. 1 That's a lee, ye auld fule !' she shrieked. * MaisterM 'Ginger's engaged tae me, an' we're tae be mairrit in a month. I've seen through yer limmei: o' a wife's little plan the nicht. It's weel kennt i' the toon that she's aye scheme, schemin' tae get yrr muckle Drosy nowt afT yer bands, but I'il scart her een out if she tries tae trap ma lad 1' Then addressing the fainting mission- ■ aiy, Jemima said, sternly, ' Weelymn M'Ginger, oot ye come frae this speeder's web o' a noose, or yell be nailau in spite o' yersel'" !' Seizing her almost comatose lover by the collar, Miss Dickson, with a parting scowl of rage and scorn at the hostess, summarily dragged him oil. After this episode, enjoyment wa" of course impossible, and the party bi^ke up in disorder. The affair was much discus^ 1 in Strathkail for a long time subsequently. The six Dobbie girls are yet in a state of single blessedness. Mrs Dobbie still hunts for eligiblcs with unabated vigour— and with hopes of ultimate success- -but to fuirhcv her aspirations has never ventured on .moother party. Needless to say the Dobbies .ac not on Mr and Mrs p([* Gingers visit* ru, list,