London, November 2.

Te Aroha News, Volume V, Issue 234, 24 December 1887, Page 7

London, November 2.

It is Mr Gladstone's misfortune to have Philistines about him Avho arc continually finding him in .some silly fix and making the " Grand Old Man " look ridiculous. What, for example, could be in woise taste than the latest emanation from the Estate office at Ilawarden ? At first people thought the advertisement must be a joke, but it was not. In fact, the notice appeared two or three times in all the leading London and pix^incUl papers. JIeLC it is : "In consequence of the numerous applications for chips Mr Gladstone hag decided to make a uniform charge for all wood felled by him." Naturally the Conservative " jokist" was at once on the qai rice. G.O.M. (loquitur)Friends, a tariff I'm avranqinp For my trophies of trce-loppinpr. I've made nothing o,ut of " eli.mgnij,'," ' So you see must charge for" chopping.' Am extiadition warrant luus been applied for and granted against a well-known Baronet who has carried off a child of 13, the daughter of respectable parents, to the Continent. The horror? of the &Loiy promise to wholly eclipse what Conservatives now gracefully style " The Hughes- I lallctt incident." Rev. Alexander Wilson, in his now book about Eton in Dr. Keatcs's time, contains Sir F. U. Doyle's statement that Gladstone was for a time editor of the school paper. In one number, the G.O.M. wiotc an "0 le to the Shade of Wat Tyler," which concluded thus : " 80 men of Inxc3, men of law In alley close and murky lane. Shall find a Tyler and a Straw To cl'mve the despot's? slaves in vain." Mi Hugh McCalmont, the Scotch ironmaster, ha? not (as was reported) left •'Gumboil" a large fortune. On the contiaiy, that young gentleman':? unfortunate amour -i with Miss Fortescne and others ofiended the old man, so that he cut him o(F with an insignificant legacy. I ieut. McCalmont, of the Guards, hovre\er, benelits to the extent of three million*, and another nephew gets a million ! Mr Beresford Hope is a great lo^ (0 the High Church party, and his familiar figure will be much missed at the notorious All Saints', Margaret-street. Excessive devotional exercises brought on the relapse that killed him. Mr Hope was a capital speaker in what " Truth '' calls a " soit of dressing -gown and slipper^" confidential way, and was usually well listened to in the House of Commons. Some year-, ago he published, anonymously, a political novel, called "Strictly Tied Up," which achieved and deserved a conspicuous &ucce?s. He was pioprietor of the "Saturday Review," but ne\er interfered with the management of that journal. Lord Iddesleigh's literary remains, including his papers and correspondence, have been placed in the hands of Mr Andrew Lang, who hopes to produce theiefrom an interesting and entertaining biography. " Business without advertising," says the proprietor of a well-known quack medicine, "is like winking at a pretty giil in the dark." The Selwyn- Hughes Hallett " incident " is already well-nigh forgotten. At the anniversary dinner of a Rochester Cricket Ciub the other day the gallant Colonel's health was proposed and drunk amid>t the greatest enthusiasm, the company lising to their feet and singing "For He's a Jolly Good Fellow." The Conservative youth of this cathedral city are evidently picfcty warm members. I think I may say that such an occurrence would have been impossible in the colonies. But (as Mr Collette sings) " You Never Can Tell." The late Lady Brassey could do many other things besides write readable works of travel. She was a practical hospital nurse, and one of the most active working members of the St. John's Ambulance Society for along time. She gained a firstclass diploma at South Kensington School of Cookery, aud was legally qualified to teach in Government schools. Her ladyship sketched passing well, and read a great deal. She was adored by her husband aud children, whom she ruled affectionately but autocratically. Lady Brassey did not dress particularly well. Her toilettes were often too striking to be in perfect taste. Overdoing things in more ways than one was, indeed, her chief foible. Judging from his new book, " What I Remember," T. A. Trollope is a much more amusing person than was the now almost forgotten Anthony. He recalls amongst other things many pithy sayings of Archbishop Whately's. " The difference between a form and a ceremony," said Whately, "is a nice one, It lies in this, you sit upon a form, but you stand upon ceremony." And again, " Honesty is the best policy — yet he who is governed by that maxim is not an honest man." The last words poor George Fordham uttered were, " I'm waiting for the flag to fall." The splendid horseman thought of his life's work as that life's last hour came. He was under the Great Starter's orders, and patiently,calmly, he waited for the flag to fall which was to start him on the last race of all — the goal of which is eternity. The ever-ready "Dagonet" has enshiined these last words in two pretty verses: — " I'm waiting for the flflg to fall." The dying horseman whis cred low ; Then, with a smile, •• Grojl bless you all," The starter soon will bid me " ro." A. blameless record his through life, A life beset with snares to sin, With many a deadly pit fall rife, lie loved his art— and rode to win. The flag has fallen. Never more Shall we behold " the Demon's " face, Or cheer him as the mighty roar Proclaims him victor in the race. The fiat's gained ; the r ost is past, May wo not say our, hearts within, "Our hero's won Ihis race-his last— And gained the prize he rodo to win." On his gravestone Fordham requested that, the words, " It is the pace, that kills," might be erigravecl., They are singularly inapplicable, as the great jockey was steady almost to a fault. ' ' Geoi-ge R. Sims, tfho vyeU'' understands the value of a' poetical, 1 motto, has chosen a pretty couplet; by;' J. A. Lowell 'to illustrate the meaning of. the titje , of Jus new melodrama," TKe Golden.. Ladder." ', THis is it : 'Tis sorrow builds#}Q shining, lad,uer.\ip, Whose golden rounds are our calamities. 1 " Sophia," which haß had a run of 450 nights at the Vaudeville, will be replaced

fco-night by Mr U. A. Jones's new drama " Heart 6t Hearts." The last nights are announced of " Ruddigore," which has somehow failed to hit the popular taste as "The Mikad6" did. A revival of " Patience u will probably follow " Pinafore." Planquette's successful comic opera, <; Les Voltigeurs de la 32me," which had a long run in Paris last year, was produced at the Avenue Theatre in a somewhat modified form on Wednesday evening. "The Old Guard " (as it is now called) contains plenty of taking melodies, but cannot be compared as a work of art with " Les Cloches." The piece will doubtless draw till Christmas. Thegigantictankatthe Standard Theatre, which did duty for the famous boat race scene last year, now assists in the tidal harbour scene of "A Tongue of Slander.'' The sensation of the piece is the heroine's jump from the pier-head into the water, whence she is rescued in orthodox fashion by thehoi'Ojboth subsequently appearing before the curtain dripping 5o take their call. In reality, however, they don't go into the water at all The plunge is made by t'vo cleverly got-up doubles, pupils of Professor Beokwith, and well accustomed to performing in the water. Rider Haggard and Edward Ko^e are busy over a dramatic version of " She.' It will be brought out at some hig theatic with grand spectacular effects. # <<reat reliance i "s placed on the " hot potting " and cannibalism c cenes which are said to be of a most realistic and blood-ciudling character. Lonnen's new song " Killaloo"' is the making of Miss Esmeralda, the new burlesque at the fiaiety, and promises to outvie in popularity even " Ballyhooley." It describes the misadventures o't a "brave mounsecr '' who tried to teach French in Killaloe. "Jllat's out" JMossoo would cry. " Well, of couisc j ou can." says f . "JVoh— no— " "I know,' says I, v.'ith sonic surprise. When a boy straight up from Clare heard Ins mother called, a marc lie gave Mos-^oo a bl-jvv between the eyes. Says Mossoo with much alarm, " Gouml call for Johnny J)avm." "There's no such name." says I, "about the place. " "Comment " he made reply. "Come on ycrsclf." frays f, And 1 scattered a'l the features of his face, After this Mossoo decided — that it wouldn't do to teach French in Killaloe Unless he'd got a fa;c or two to spare. The magistrate to whom Mossoo appeals is perplexed, For a fellow who you see spells w hisky O.D.V. Why, you never know wh.it hc'il be up to next. Then nothing more ■was said, wcr. thorn e to bed And mixed no more in Kil'a'oe nf!air-~. And the papeis ot the place haul the foicign teacher s pl.ice Was closed for liberation and repairs The moralj of course, is -- Poa'l ."-poak foreign languages, for What e\ or tongue you take it io mishty liard to spako your car keeps chanymft p\r.cs with your nose.