Humorous.

Te Aroha News, Volume V, 3 December 1887, Page 3

Humorous.

Old as the hills — Hho valley. A man who lias a turn for music — The organ -grincl-er. When has a man four hands ? — When ho doubles his fists. Galloping 1 Consumption — Dinner at a railroad restaurant. How does a horse regard a man ? — As the source of all his whoas. What part of a dwelling-house would best suit a phrenologist for his study ?— The scullery. You can't convince a young man whose host girl has just said "Yes," that the country is going to rack and ruin. "I wouldn't be a fool if I were you," said Jones to a friend. "If you were me you wouldn't be a fool," was the reply. Needing no Bush, — Host: "Well, my boy, this is something like wine, isn't it T Guest, reflectively : " Yes, what is it ?" " It's as warm as an oven inhere," said a citizen as he entered a lawyer's office. " So it should be, for it is here I make my bread," said the man of deeds. " You needn't be so crusty," said Todkins to his botter-half. "Better bs a littlo crusty than only one-half baked," was the reply of his amiable spouse. "Fortunate. 1 ' — An Irish paper announces that Mr Kenny, returning to town, fell down and broke his neck, but happily received no further damage. " Ah, my dear," said a gallant lover to his sweetheart, "you always remind me of a lock and key." "Why so?'' "Because you aye something to adore." That scientific expedition around the world may perhaps be able to tell us, when it return?, wliy a man takes off his boots first when undressing, while a woman begins at her hair-pins. Some singers at a concert wero somewhat startled the other evening by finding that the selection, "When wearied wretches sink to sleep," had been printed on the programme, " When married wretches," &c. Overheard in a bookseller's. — Old party (to bookseller's clerk) : I should liko a Chaucer. Clerk (altogether new to the business, but very polite) j Really, sir, I'm very sorry, but I haven't a bit of tobaoco about me.