LADIES' GOSSIP.

Te Aroha News, Volume V, 3 December 1887, Page 3

LADIES' GOSSIP.

According to the latest definition, a bachelor is a man -who has lost the opportunity of making a woman miserable Wife : " You haven't been inside a church since we were married." Husband (sorrowfully) : "No ; a burnt child dreads the firo." . A maiden lady say that if single lite is bad, it stands fco rev-on that double life is twice as bad. But ladies rarely understand mathematics. Wife, to second husband, "Ah, tiamcH, you are so different from my first husband." Husband, "Yes, no doubt -he died four years ago, and I didn't." " I feel so miserable again this morning, said a complaining wife. " Yes," replied hei exasperated husband, "you wouldn't be happy if you weren't miserable all the time." It i.-. asserted that Solomon never laughed. That's not remarkable, A man who had s>even hundred wives and a few hundred mothers-in-law was not likely to be in a very merry humour. A stout old lady got out of a crowded omnibus the other day, exclahring, " Well, that's a relief anyhow," to which the driver, cveing her ample porportions, replied, " So the 'o^ses thinks, mum." '•I can't afford more than one flower in my hat," she said to the milliner. " Well, .whore will you have it?" "As I sit next to the loft wall in church, you can put it on the side next to tho congregation,"' was the soft reply. A married man who was out ab a party, when he proposed returning home, was urged to stay a little longer: " Well," he replied, " perhaps I may as well ; my wife's temper probably is already as bad as it can be.'"