ZAMIEL OMWAITOA. From Random Shots in Auckland Star, Oct. 22.
Tusitc is gold-fever in the air, and this most ' catching ' of diseases is affecting the whole community, as neither quarantine nor disinfectants are of any avail to stay its ravages. A year ago the cry was "To Kimberley," and do/jns of Auckland's best diggers and thousands of pounds of Auckland capital were allured by the will-o'-the-wisp to go in pursuit of phantom fortune, only to loose all in the deadly swamps and desert wastes of Western Australia. Now the cry is — " To Waitoa !'* but because "Waitoa is at our very door, well-known, salubrious and easily accessible, the fever is not so turious as before. To parody Tom Campbell : — 'Tis distance lends enchantment to the view, And clothes the t,ohllield with auriferous hue !' but the glamour is not so strong when the goldfield is within a few hundred of miles ; and when, as in the case of Waitoa, it is just at hand, the contempt which is bied of familiarly takes possession of us, and we all become severely critical andsuspicious. Not only are we Aucklandcrs very sceptical as to our goldtields, but we are painfully conscientious in communicating our convictions to others, and disenchanting them from their pleasant dreams by the application of a wet blanket. Let me explain what I mean . There were the people of Christchurch, just at the proper distance to believe that this was a veritable " valley of gold," upon which they had just to swoop down (like Sinbad on his rock into the valley of diamond^) in order to make themselves millionaires in the twinkling of a bed-post; and we must needs go and organise an Old Honesty Association, and spend a lot of money in prospecting, smelting, washing, assaying, bur. I know not what else beside, ju*t todisillusionisetheprescntgold seekers, who were prepared — not to "salt" the Waitoa Valley, but to " sugai " ie well by the expenditure of thousands of pounds in treating its clayey and sandy soil ! What a time we have had of suspicious spying and prying, of boring and poiin<*, of smelting and melting, of accusations and reciimination-, all with the \ iew of discouraging the legitimate investment of capital in testing the " payability" of the undoubted auriferous deposits that cover many square miles of country. What fools these mortals be ! For at the same time as the}' were thus doing their best to convince the Southerners that they need not waste money in looking for gold -here, they were howling for a Government gubsidy to help in the development of our goldtields. I never betoi'e fully leleased the force of the saj-ing — " The rigid righteous is a fool." The attempt to run goldfield atfair-, on the lines of ten commandments, with the golden rule supeiadded, may be very meritorious ; but this m ioked world i« not yet ripe for such a revolution. Luckily, as it happens, the Christchurch poo pie refuse to be disenchanted : they still believe that Auckland's golden rule is — " Do others as you expect them aKo to do you;" and uitha firmer faith in chemical analysis than in human nature they stick to their colours — the dirty yellow " colour.-, '' found in the " worthless " clay of Waitoa ! It must be admitted (hat the Old Honesty Syndicate had good grounds for taking the Waitoa stoiies with a grain of salt The resemblance of the golden particles to tilings of sovereigns was what Sir Geo. Grey would call ' curious,' but it surely was nob sufficient ground upon which to condemn our big golden valley as a 'duffer.' The fact that independent tests of stuff taken from different parts of the valley showed the preo.iC3 of gold in infinitesimal quantities was proof "positive that the land was gold-bearing, and it certainly was not conclusive evidence that those portions of the land which gave splendid returns had been " salted,"' It only raised reasonable doubt of the game being worth the candle. The whole question will soon besatisfactoiily settled by tests of sufficient magnitude, and it is therefore vain to theori&e as to whether the gold was deposited by volcanic or alluvial action, or whether natural gold may not exist in the same state as that issued from the English Mint. "Who shall decide when doctors disagree ? " Certainly not a poor duffer like "Zamiel," whose acquaintance with the precious metal is precious small. The conflicting stat3m^nts of professors, analysts, and experts ha"s c their humorous aspect for the di^inteiested observer, who may be supposed to warble as follows on the lubicct :—: — Says Smith to his friends— ' Here's a story that lends An enchantmen". that fa'rly astounds ; I've a valley of gold Full of riches unto'd; You may have it for ten thousand pounds ! ' Pays Ami^ys' Pond— ' Foolish fandesand i'or.d ! That is nothing but mica you see. And my eyes are at fault If there isn't some salt ;— Gold ! Humph ' Twccdle-dum ! Tweedlc-dcc ! ' Sa^ s Piofcs~or TTutlon— ' I don't care a bufcfon ; Tvc got buttons of y,6\d from the stun", And you cannot stuff me— Twcedle-dnm ! Twoedle-dce! Tin Professor, ai.d ain't that enough ? ' Says Pond—' Mv dear Ilutton, Return to your muttcn : I know what I'm talking about ; A Government An ilvst Surely can scan a list ; My report will convince you you're out ! ' Says Fraser to Pond— ' This subjei t J Ye conned, And ruy tests b wo been honestly made; There is something beyond So you needn't dcs-Pond, Or of final success be afraid ! ' Says Pond unto Fraser— ' Take care what you say, sir ; The stu(f was not doctored by me, And attempts all would fail To put salt on my tail, So the joker idea won t gee ! ' Says Old Honesty Association—'Alas ! I'm a donkey, I fear for my pains ; I deserve now to suffer For calling a duffer Those richly auriferous plains ! • A Government grant For a big crushing plant Must be got, and that speedily too ; For its proved beyond doubt That to fetch our gold out The wet blanket treatment won t do ! '
Permanent link to this item
Hononga pūmau ki tēnei tūemi
https://paperspast.natlib.govt.nz/newspapers/TAN18871126.2.20
Bibliographic details
Ngā taipitopito pukapuka
Te Aroha News, 26 November 1887, Page 1
Word count
Tapeke kupu
1,002ZAMIEL OMWAITOA. From Random Shots in Auckland Star, Oct. 22. Te Aroha News, 26 November 1887, Page 1
Using this item
Te whakamahi i tēnei tūemi
No known copyright (New Zealand)
To the best of the National Library of New Zealand’s knowledge, under New Zealand law, there is no copyright in this item in New Zealand.
You can copy this item, share it, and post it on a blog or website. It can be modified, remixed and built upon. It can be used commercially. If reproducing this item, it is helpful to include the source.
For further information please refer to the Copyright guide.