Mullins, the Agnostic.

Te Aroha News, Volume V, Issue 227, 5 November 1887, Page 7

Mullins, the Agnostic.

Hn name was William Mullins, and lie had a Mieeiin' way Of tm nine liis proboscis up At everything you'd say. ' Wall, now, how do you know ? ' Kiid lie ; ' Humph, now, how do you know '( ' The way it closed the argument It a\ n&n't by no means plow.

You might be talkin" social like With the fellows at the On war or polities or bich, And you might have the floor, And be a gettin' it down fine, Provin' that things was so, When Mullins would put his long no.bC in With ' Humph, now, how do }ou know ?'

I seen that critter set in church And take a .sermon in, And turn his nose up in a At death and j^race and bin. With no regard for time or place Or realms of endle-^ woe, He'd rise and bin at the whole thing up With ' Humph, now, how do you know ? '

He cut his gra^s whene'er it rained, He shocked his wheat up green, He out his corn behind the frost, His hogs was allus lean. He built his stacks the big end up, His corn ribs bit* end down : ' Ciooked as Mullin&'s roadside fence ' Was a proverb in our town.

The older he got the wus he grew, And crookedor day by day ; The squint of his eyes would wind a clock, His toes turned out each way ; His boots and his shoes were both of them lefts, The rheumatiz twisted so ; But if you said he didn't look well He'd growl, ' Now, how do you know ? ' And that darned grit led to his death - He was on the railroad track, Crossin' a bridge ; I heard the train And yelled ' Mullins, come back ! The burin is aiound the curve in sight ! ' Says he, ' Humph, how do you know ? ' I helped to gather him up in a pail— The engine scattered him so.

I think it's best to have more faith In every day concerns, And not be alllus a snoopin 1 round To gifc behind the returns. A plain statement will do for me — A hint instead of a blow ; A coroner's jury may fetch out facts, But it's rather late to know.