THE SWEET WIFE'S VICTORY.

Te Aroha News, Volume V, Issue 212, 23 July 1887, Page 6

THE SWEET WIFE'S VICTORY.

Wife (to husband, who is arranging his toilet at the mirror) : " Can't you take me to the opera to-night, dear?" Husband (decisively) ; "No 1 cannot. Opera indeed ! Do you think I'm made of money ?' Wife (after a pause) : " I don't see any need of you spending so much time brushing your whiskers, dear." Husband (burning round with an angry glitter in his eye) : " Why not ?" Wife '(smilingly) : " Because one * brushing is enough, and you are handsome enough without going to all that trouble ; it would be hard to make yourself any handsomer— at least in my eyes - than you are naturally, no matter what care you give to your toilet." Husband (after completing his toilet): "I'm going down town for awhile ; by the way, Bella, on second thought, I guess I can manage to get a couple" of opera tickets, so you can consider the going settled. Ta, ta." Wife (solos— after his departure) : " I thought I would fetch him."

The body of a man who had downed himself was taken from the water by a policeman. " Does anybody know anything about this man ?" asked the policeman of some urchins who were present. " \Ve seed him just as he came up for the last time, but we forgot to ask him what MS name was," said one of the boys.