How to Conduct a Courtship.

Te Aroha News, Volume IV, Issue 206, 4 June 1887, Page 2

How to Conduct a Courtship.

Don't be too sudden about it. Many a girl has said "no" when she meant "yes," simply because her lover didn't choose the right time and pop the question gently. Take a dark night for it. Have the blinds closed, the curtains down, and the lamp turned most on. Sit near, enough to her so that you can hook your little finger into hers. Wait until conversation begins to flag, and then quietly remark : "Susie; I want to ask you something." She will fidget round «i little,, reply "Yes," and after a pau°e you can add, " Susie, my actions must have shown —that is, you must haye — 1 mean you- must be aware that— that— " Pause here for a while, but keep your little finger firmly locked. She may cough and try to turn the subject oft by asking you how you- liked the sermon, but she often does it to< encourage you. After about ten minutes you- can continue: "I was thinking as I came up the sbx'eet to-night, that before I went away I would ask you— that is, I would broach the subject nearest my- 1 mean I would know my ' Stop again and give her hand a gentle squeeze. She may make a move to get away, or she may not. In either case it augurs well for you. Wait about five minutes, and then go on : " The past year has been a very happy one to me, but 1 hope that future years will still be happier. However, that de,pends entirely on you. lam here to-night to know— that is, to ask you I am here , to-night to hear from your own lips the one sweet——" Wait asrain. It isn't best to be too rash about such things. Give her plenty of time to recover her , composure, and then put your hand on your heart and continue : " Yes, I thought as I was coming here to-night how happy I, had been, and I said to myself that if I, ,only knew you would consent to be ray- , that is, I said if I only knew— if I was only certain that my heart had not deceived me, and you were ready to share " Hold on—there's no huny about it., Give the wind a chance to sob and moan around the gables. This will make her lonesome and call up all the love in her heart. , , When, she begins to cough and grow, restless, you can go on "Before I met, you this world was a desert to me. I didn't take any pleasure in going blackberrying and stealing rare-ripe peaches, and it didn't matter whether the sun shone or, not. But what a change in one short year ! It is for you to say whether my future shall be a prairie of happiness or a summer fallow of Canadian whistles. Speak, dearest Susies, and say — and say that - that — " Give her five minutes more by the clock, c^nd then add — "That you will be— that is, that you will— l mean that you will— be mine !" She will heave a sigh, look up at the clock and round the room, and then, as she slides her cad over your vest pocket, she will whisper—" You are just right— l willl"

When illicit distilling was common in Abei'deensln're, there was at one time an old man who went about the country repairing whisky pots. The gauffer meetings him one day, and guessing that he hact been doing some repairs at no great distance, asked him what he would take to* inform him (the gauger) where he had repaired the last whisky pot. " Och," said Donaid, "she'll shust tak half-a-croon." " Done," said the gauger ; " here is your money j but be careful to tell me correctly. '.' Oclij she'll no tell the gentleman a lee. I shust mended the last whisky pot where the hole was." ' "Oh, my friends, there are some spectacles that a person never forgets," said a lecturer after giving a graphic description of a terrible accident that he had witnessed. " I'd like to know where they sell 'em," remarked an old lady in the audience who is always mislaying hei' glasses.