An Irish-Yankee Office-seeker.

Te Aroha News, Volume IV, Issue 203, 14 May 1887, Page 2

An Irish-Yankee Office-seeker.

In the days when President Cleveland announced that he would hour no applications for otHce, there came to Washington from a Western city an Irishman, with his member of Congress, to apply for a consulate. Having failed to reach the President in the regular way, they determined to try one of the public receptions. The applicant was a monstrous fellow, by profession a bright-tender, but had political influence enough to elect himself to the Legislature, and was now ambitious to serve his country abroad. " 1 knowed it was- 1 a mane trick to pull a cowld deck on him at wan o' thim bloody reciptions," lip remarked to me the evening after it happened, " but it wuz Mike - he's me Mimber, y' know — that put up the job. Says he, "Jerry, y' lunkhead, have it t' me. An' he tuk me up to th' Exicitive mansion, a place I was niver in afore in me life. Ther' wuz a big crowd there, an' Mike he p'inted thim out to me. '" That man a-sittin' yonways,' says he, ' is Sinator So-an-fco, an' the one fcrnin»t 'im is Governor This-an-that,' an" he rattled off the names o' the big-bugs, till I says to mcself, says I, " Jerry O'Toole, ye wuz niver in sich company in all yer life, an' ef th' ould woman wuz here she'd be proud 0' ye,' says I, fcr ther' w uzn't a man among thim all that I couldn't 'a' th rowed ! over my shoulder. By-an'-by his Nibs comes in, an' as th' crowd wuz gettin' in a row t' go by 'in, Mike he turned t' me, an says he, ' Jerry.' ' An' what "l ye be havin' ?' pays I. An' says he, ' Whin ye come to the Prisident, an' I introjuco ye as bein' afrher a consulate at Dooblin,' says he, ' ye must git in yer work, me boy,' says he. ' Jist watch mo,' says I. "So whin we came up to the Pri^iden , Mike shpoke up as- big a* a jedge, an he says, "Mr President,' says he, ' I'd like fer t' introjuce to yer Honour,' says he, ' the Honourable Jerry O'Toole, late a Ripvisintativc in the Legislature of me State,' says lie. 'Mr O'Toole wud loikc t' pass n few words wid yer Houour,' says he, ' wid regards t' th' Dooblin mission, fer which he is a ladin' canderdate,' says he. His Nibs looked at Mike, an' thin he looked at me, an' thin he shpoke up, an' he says, says he, I 'Or 'in glad to mate ye, Mr O'Toole, a'e 1 ye're a large man, sorr,' says he. ' Yere' no slouch ycr.«olf, sorr,' says I, havin' ti back at 'im* pliant loikc ye see, ' an' yc'rn han'somer than yer picture, sorr, by a big sight,' says I, by way o' compliment ; an' ' Thank ye, poit, an' good-day t' ye,' says he, as he grabbed th' flipper uv a galoot j behind me, an' divil a wurred about the 1 Dooblin consulate. j "I turned round t' Mike, an' he says, ! • Why didn't ye git in yer work ?' says he. An' how could I,' says I, ' wid it as ivident as th' nose on yer face,' says I, ' that he didn't mane t' discuss itV •' We'll go t 1 th' State Dapartinint," says he ; an' we wint. Mr Bayard is a very foineman, an' he lives in a foine room, an' he has a nayger V take th' tickets at th' door. An' putty soon th' nayger came out, an' he says, wid a bow an' n wave o' his hand, jist as if he owned th' place an' all th' contints, an' says, says he, " Mr Bayard is purty Wsy this day, but he'll give ye two minits,"' bays he : and wid that he opened th' door. "An' what kin we do' in two minits," says I, " wid th' Dooblin mission ?" " Wud ye howld yer tongue ?" gays Mike : an" in we wint. Now, Mr Bayard is as plisint a shpoken man as ivcr ye saw, an whin Mike t'owld him who I wuz, he said he wuz glad I had done him the honor t' call. " Don't mintion," says I. Thin Mike he says, "Mr Secretary," says he, "Mr O'Toole wud be' afther acceptin' th' Dooblin mission, sorr," says he, an' commenced t' tetfl him what a ahwing I had wid the boys. Then Mir Bayard Ire looked, an' in a most gentle-, manly way he has says, "I regrit sorr," says he, "that the' place yeex wuz good enough to mention was filled some time since, before we knowed Mr O'Toble wuz a canderdate," says' he. " HoYs that, Mike ?" «ays I' ; but, takin' non6tico o' me, an' not the mast bit rattled, he says 1 t' 1 Mr Bayard, as a jedge sayß he, »" Mcbbc Mr O' Toole would accipt some other place," gays he. "That l wud)" says I not bein' willin 1 ' to lose' a p'int*iu/th' game; an', lookin 1 at mc» says Mike, " Where be thim papers, Jerry ? the rGcommendatibrisj I mane." , An' whin ,1 .fetched ., fr^ni, rile pocket the ' papers the' boys g'qh up, he begun ag'in.f'tell him .what a big man I wuz. Mr Bayard, sort. 0' h^gty-like, says, "Xsup'pose' )Wiafc"y'd be givih' me is Writ down ,\n thj.m papers/ Bays.he,<and ses !>• s " It . is, an' a hape more too, sorr," " Well', thin,'" dnyd'ho, "avye'U b6 ( la'vih' 'emlwj'd.m.^JUi: rade 'em at me laisure," says lie,,'.Tali'.coin■niunicate rtvid'.nie," says 'he ; an^wid, that ho bid us good-day, an' I don't think Oi'm goin' t' get th' 'pIW-" — " Lippincott's Magazine. _. _L,