Philosophy in Broken German.

Te Aroha News, Volume IV, Issue 201, 30 April 1887, Page 6

Philosophy in Broken German.

I doan' belief half I hear- onless it vhas scandal. Den I belief it all, and more, too. Der fact dot our neighbour can haf a new coat while we haf to wear our old one, vhas blenty excuse to hate him. Vhen a young man who vhas oudt Of work and money, und in x'ags, comes to you for help, tell him " der vhas room at der top." It vhas good advice -und werry sheap. If somebody robs me of two cents I vhant him arrested for der principle of it. Der shmaller der sum der more I stick more principle. You can buy a whole carload of it for a cent, Vhen a man begins to pelief dot he owns der earth, it vhas time to put him up for condidate for constable und let him see how few admirers he has. Vhen I meet a man who hungers to reform der human race, I took notis dot he vhas somebody who vhas tired of honest labour, or he vhas scart out of a wicked career by der police. Vhen I find womans who soul vhas wrapped up in der foreign heathens, I find ncr shildren was on der high road to shail for vhant of moral teaching. Vhen I goes into a grocery and sees der sign dot honesty vhas der best policy, I cloan' buy some coffee dere. It vhas sure to be half chiccory. If we lose a dollar on der shtreet, we vhas mad pecause der finder vhas not honest enough to return it. If we find fife dollar, we feel dot der owner ought to lose it for his carelessness. If you gif somepody advice, find out first • how he believes, and den make your advice* to agree with it. Der man whose advice doan' tally mit our opinions vhas no good. I doan' ahudge a Christain man by the length of his prayers or der loudness of his song. Der question vhas, if he pays his debts and keeps his hens mit his own yard. If we vhas in der coal peesness, und giving eighteen hoondred pounds for a ton, we keep an eye on der wood man dot he gifs full measure mit his wood. 1 If I vhas a good man I like to haf de fact kept off my tombstone. Der graveyard critic gifs nobody credit. . Anticipation vhas a big dinner which we eat up and shtill feel hungry all oafer, — "Detroit Free Press."