Buster's.

Te Aroha News, Volume IV, Issue 195, 19 March 1887, Page 8

Buster's.

I O.v a disntnl night in November, when the hail was battering down on my boxer and rattling like a bag of mussels in Billingsgate, I found myself near the part; of Hoiborn christened " High." I had to face ;.n east wind edged like a razor, and which left one's visage livid. Take it altogether, ie waa a night that one would not have unkennelled a dog in. As I passed Warwick Court the clock of St. Sepulchre's boomed out a funereal ten. The hail then went off duty, and a fine mist came on beat, whilst a mantlo of fog spread itself over the saturated city. The proprietors of the shops, driven to despair by damp and j depression, had long since cio3ed their esI tablishments in hopeless resignation ; but up one of the narrow streets' not a hundred miles from Holborn I noticed a jet of gas j Inside a cracked lamp. A pioce of red g]as3 yjiva a bloodshot appearance to this gas eye, which kept on opening and shutting with a lurid wink. There waa a fascination about the flicker of this solitary sign of vitality that induced a nearer inspection. On getting under the lamp an announce tr.ent in white letters traced across the red pane informed me that it waa " Buster's Eating Hou3e," and in order that there might not be any mistake on this point, in Bu3ter's window was displayed a "con-valescent-looking ham,'' on the shank bone of v-hich, by way of ornamentation, vras a dirty piece of yellow tissue paper " frilled " Near unto this " pale ham" was a coil of raw meat, labelled " prime stake !" but it waa co long and so thin aa to resemble a "meat cravat' more than anything else, la a corner was a cauliflower resting its weary head on a languishing lettuce, and over this once green mass two withered bunches of watercress were surely performing the la3t iitea, for the cauliflower with its yellow ochre leaves wa3 sick unto death and the lettuce had long since been given over. Evidently this Buster must be a joker of the first order, for on a Bemi-oval sheet of ?tone coloured paper, much resembling a tombstone, he had pub up thia heterographic and mendacious statement - "Fresh Kut." I pushed open tho door and jerked a bell, which bell jerked the proprietor into the room, around which waa a number of loose boxea and stalled tables. Buster waa evidently unprepared for a customer at ciich an hour on such a night. " Hevervthing 13 hoff," ha said, handing tne the •' papyrus" of the daily fare Through tho succulent joints (ia \\ ritincr) ha r l been run an ink skewer indicating this fact, " There's a nice cut of cold 'ai4,' ; he added. I shuddered at tho reminiscence of the sample I had scon in tho window and thook my head. Just at thia instant a head wis popped ever ono of tho farther boxis, and the owner cf that " very pretty thing,"' addressing mo in a jaunty Jeremy Diddlor jency way, j siM—' 1 1 pledge you my honour, sir, Bu^-!-<Vi tripo is not to be excelled anywhere. Bu-ter, give the gentleman a plate." The cranium disappeared and Buster, obeying the "unseen one," brought unto me a lordly dish of toothsome tripe— and a go cf Scotch whiskey. '•Don't ba alarmed, sir, I'm coming to join you," cried the "invisible," and out he cama carrying his plate of tripe and an empty tumbler. He sat himself opposite to ma, and I then perceived that his face was in profile— in fact, his head appeared to bo screwed on the wrong way, and a lull face view waa only to be had by standing at his elbow. " Strange, ain't it ? Looks odd, don't it ?"' asked my companion, seeing that I had noticed his peculiarity. " Ifc was done in a minute, as you my say. I'll tell you all about it in a jiffy," continued my choBry «md evidently impecunious visitor, ' ' I was a private detective, and I'd got orders to keep my eye on a certain party and not let him ace I waß on the watch, of course. Well, sir, I kept nay eye so long on him that I'm dashed if I could take it off. Well, one ni^ht he went to a music hall and placed himself behind me, so I kept my eve over this shoulder, just as you see It now, and I must have eat in a draught, for I'm bio wed if it ain't fixed there." It had doubtless affected, his eight ; for he coolly spongad up my grog and ordered two more, I ventured to ask if his misfortune was not a source of great discomfort. i " Weil, 'tis awkward rather when you've to think where the back of your head is, and when you try to blow your ear with a handkerchief ; but X pledge you my word,

sir [by the way, this seemed to be about the only thing loft him to pledge, for his garments were of the seediest], I pledge you my word I'm resigned. Buster, two cigars !" I thought I saw adesire on Buster's part to deoline further orders from the stranger, until 1 fancied the etranger by some »eoret cofJe had mortgaged me for the meal. My companiou entertained me with anecdotes of all kinds until Buster informed us " he must put the shutters up." I placed a half-sovereign on the dirty cloth in payment of the repast, but my right-angled friend, pushing it aside, pulled out a disreputable purse, which declined to be held by one trusty clasp, and placing hia hand on my arm, he said—" I pledge you tuy word, sir, I feel responsible for this repast. Allow me." He opened the pureo with a lordly air, peeped in it, paused, seemed petrified, then pushing itj towards me he pointed to a hole in it, and he solemnly pledged me his wordl "he would not have had it happen for a thousand quid." Buster, who had hard work to subdue his smile, brought me 53 6d change, and so much repaid waa my companion's sight by his accident that he actually took up my change and transferred it to his own pocket, then writing his address on the back of the bill of fare, he handed it to mo — Nathaniel Nicker, TheSwindleries, Shadwell. He jauntily thiew on his hat, and begging Buster to remind him to forward to me 5s Gd, he put out a dirty hand and wished me a cordial good-night, and I heard Buster distinctly aay — " Well, I'm dashed if ho ain't a oner !" — " Moonshine."