HUMOROUS.

Te Aroha News, Volume IV, Issue 195, 19 March 1887, Page 5

HU MO RO US .

Will somebody please remove the bent pin. from the Bulgarian throne ? Santa Clau= can get down a chimney very much moro readi'y when ifc is lined with. bank notes. Homer Allen, priest of psalrnistry, Bays you can't Ho with the hand shut. Ifi instinctively opens. It is also worth noting thab you can't refute a lie with the hand open. It instinctively fhuts. City man—" What the blazes is the matter with that hen?" Farmer—" Nothing, she has just laid an eg*." '* Great Scott J One would suppose that she had laid the foundation for a brick block." Good reason, — " Why do you build such a flat roof to your house ? ' asked an Austin, business man of a friend. "Because/* whispered the other, "I want to put a mortgage on it as coon as it is finished. What the trouble waa.— •« See here, Silw* I don't think much of dis yere Leghorn, bonnet of a hen. She seta a bad eggsample. She had oughter had chicks free weeks ago." "Dal- failure's easily 'splaiaed, Dinah. She's not in her nest all de time." Analogy.— Young Deadbroke to his landlady's pretty daughter—" I wonder why your mother always gives me so many eggs for breakfast ?" She— "l don't know; bofe mother puts egga in coffee to make it settle, and " "Say no more. 1 will pay up to morrow." In town for the season.—" How greatly the baroneas has aged since last winter. * " Yea, poor thing, and heaven knows sh* takes troubleenoagh to keep young." "How <51d should you cay ahe was ?" " 1 should say she was exactly the age she tries not to eeem to be." • A politician walking along^ws-etwak accidentally dropped a lie. A gentleman called after him to tell the. politician of hi» loss. "Oh!it is no consequence." siid the latter, "I have plenty more." This atorr teaches that even a politician can sometime* speak the truth. ' The small girl went to church on Christmas with mamma. Papa remained at horn* trying on his new Christma9 hat. When, they got hoterta he said to his peb s •' Well, darling, what waa the text ?" "I'm not quite sure, papa, but to sounded <lumk- . • Many are cold, but few are frozen. 1 '