A Lapsus Linguae.

Te Aroha News, Volume IV, Issue 195, 19 March 1887, Page 4

A Lapsus Linguae.

People are very prone to complain ot their iuabtlity to find a policeman when that functionary is most needed, and so frequently are the guardians of the peace the object of a woll-nieh fruitless search that the failuro to put in an appearance at opportune times has become almost an axiom. The following incident is a ludicrous illustration of the point in question t The other evening come trouble was in progress in a house in EHot-atreet, and a gentleman who was proceeding up that thoroughfare was hurriedly accosted by aa officer, who asked the former if he had mefc a policeman at the other end of the street. The gentleman replied that he had not, whereupon the first speaker made the startling assertion: "That's alwaya theway ; you never can find on" of them when he is wanted." The officer, as soon a« h6 had uttered this imputation on his owx* guild, realised the ludicrous lapsus linguat of which he had bean guilty, and with a confused expression of countenance resumed his search for assistance, leaving the gentle* man to whom he had been speaking greatlyamused.

A household journal wants to know t{ why ladies are afraid to be seen in the kitchen when they look like angels at the table," Never having aeen angels at the table, wg are constrained to give up the conundrum j but perhaps it is because they look lb» angels at the table that they object) to being soon in the kitchen. There ia nothing very heavenly about a kitchen. To thk Public;.— l, the undesigned, do thft day mako the following stt.temont, in hopes that i Wiers -who have irono through a similar affliction may profit thereby:— For many months liiivc T been siok ; so bad that life was a burdei*. . Tho mental depression awl physical prostratioa were something that cannot do described. Doo tors and patent medicines I have tried without any relief, but getting worse all the time. As a forlorn hope I called on I>i\ Spoor, Palmerston Buildings, Queen-street. He examined me, and without asking a question, gave me every symptom I had. Said ho would treat me. From the first teaspoonful of his medicine I felt relief* and have been constautlj" gotting better eves Bince. Words cannot express nay gratitude. The above statement I mako without any solicitation, and I am willing to verify the sarn^ before a J.P.— Respectfully your*, IV, AnMUQW, Qb&rlotte-Btteet, Eden 'I « Race,