Burglars in the House.

Te Aroha News, Volume IV, Issue 192, 19 February 1887, Page 3

Burglars in the House.

It is not pleasant— we have it on the verybeat authority -to be awakened in the middle of a cold night with an intimation from the wife of your bosom " that^ there are thieves in the house, and that if you don't go downstairs and parley with them we shall all be murdered in our beds !" It is trying; by reason of the cold. It is vet more trying from the unequal terms of which the dazed householder iD the short shirt, and pattering on the icy oilcloth, conducts negotiations. So we can hardly blame little Tompkms if he did not spring out of bed with alacrity, even when assured "there's so many as a dozen down there, if there's one. Only hear Tompkinß listened. There was profound quiet. In the act of listeniug he was off to Bleep. But not so his wife. ♦'There ! don't ycu hear that?" she demanded. " And Aunt Saiah's silver teapot's down there, and the children's new frocke, and the lace curtains. Oh, why— why don't you go down ?" " But what's the use ?" he remonstrated. "Theuße?" " Yes ; they'd better take Aunt Sarah's teapot than my " " Frederick, you're a coward !" "No, Amanda, I'm not afraid, but there kno sense in my going down. Suppose one of them should be lying behind the door at the head of the kitchen stairs, and as I attempted to pass, should knock my brains out? There's no need of my going down now, Amanda," he went on; "they must have gone. I don't hear thorn." " There's that noi-e again. Now, Fred, if yon don't go, I will, and tell the neighbours what a nice coward you are. Will you go?" almost yelled Mrs Tompkins. " I'll go ; but let me kssa the baby, foy I shall never, never, see it again. In ten minutes I shall be a corpse." But she was inexorable. So there was nothing to do but comply ; but he did not do it without a struggle. "Amanda," he said, as he stood snivering, hxa teeth chattering the while, " we've been married nearly five years. Haven't I always been a good husband to you ?—? — haven't I bought you new bonnets, sealskin jackets, and high-heeled boots? And now you would have me go down there to get murdered - nay, don't interrupt me— murdered, I say, most foully ; yea, slain in the most horrible manner— struck on the head with the kitchen poker and knocked, senseless, throat cut from ear to ear, eyes blinded with cayenne paper, and then stabbed to death. Farewell ! I forgive you. Tell the baby boy when he grows up that his father loved him, and that he died bravely, Knowing a eet of murderers were in tho house, be got out of bed, went downstairs, and defiantly faced them, was overpowered and killed. I don't owe ", - "Fred." she shrieked, " you go and find out what's the matter. " "Well," I'll gn," said, the almost fainting man, a 9 he moved towards the stairs, shivering, shakin^Tand"quakirig'wftli"fear. Slowly he descended »o the hall, and lit; the ! gas therein -phuddered-dottn yef another flight— oautioußly opened * ttie kitchen door- and what did Hd behold? Only the cat playing with an india-rubbsr" ball. And such is life in its marital development.