Didn't Want To Sell.

Te Aroha News, Volume IV, Issue 189, 29 January 1887, Page 2

Didn't Want To Sell.

The other day a man walked into a barber's shop, followed by a page, who deposited a portable table on the floor, and took from a satchel a number of tonforiai wareß and arranged them on it with artistic care. "This ie pomade," said the visitor. "I'm well supplied." " This is bear's grease." "I've more bear's greasa for a year." " Here is come fine bay rum." "It no doubt is ; but I make my own myself down in the cellar and put on foreign labels. Noone knows the difference,aDd I sell lots of it for presents. " The visitor, not in the least daunted, went on: — "Here is roeemary." "That is for remembrance," softly cooed the tongorial mower ; " but I don't want any in mine, nor paneies for thoughts, nor Cabbage for reverie — Shakppeare with variations." "Here is cosmetic for the moustache." " I know it is for the moustache, and for the goatee, the imperial, and the side whiskers, but I am so thoroughly itocked and reeking with cosmetic at present that I am trying to use it upon the cat, which I frequently polish up Kke the bo?om l>f a variety actor's Diamond." — Here is an electric brush, a triplex comb, a duplex elliptic hairdye. an oxyhydrogen lavender water, and a'thermocauterieedjf ace-powder." •• I don't want any of them." c * I know you •don't." "Then why do you ask me to buy them ?" " I don't ask you to buy them. Did I say anything to you about buying them ?" " Come to think of it you did'nt." "Youeanjuat bet I did'nt, for I didn't come in hqre to sell you anything. I came in to let you know that I possess all the toilet articles that a gentlemau needs. Now -don't try to sell me anything, or praise up your wares, and tell me that I ought to own a sample of each if I wish to be respected. I am stocked ! stocked ! ! stocked ! ! ! Now give me an easy shave without interrogation points." . I

" Gracious !" exclaimed a rural lady, with a surprised look at Barfcholdi's big statue, "and is that the Goddess of Liberty ? Why I had no idea she was so much bigger than the rest of us women/ A youth of Widnes, four years old, and his young sister, saw a rat hasten into a bole in the barn floor. Said he, " Sis, the Bible says, ' Watch and pray/ You pray while I watch the hole, and I'll swafce him across tha Bnoot when he comes out." A fanner near Boßton who had a fine patch of melons by the roadside had this admonitory sign chalked oat, and put up conspicuously in the patch : <*' Boys, don't take these moione, they are green, and God sees you."