The Good Little Boy.

Te Aroha News, Volume IV, Issue 184, 25 December 1886, Page 4

The Good Little Boy.

A man boarded an uptown elevated tram at Part Place, , tugging at an enormous imitation alligators-skin valise with ono hand, while the other was fully occupied holding on to a youthful example of perpetual motion in the shape of a ten-year-old boy. There was nothing very peculiar about the man'p appearance, duplicates of the valise are seen every day, and the boy was juet like hundreds of others of the American irreverent species, yet the trio aft once became the centre of attraction in the car. They occupied the whole of two facing eeata The boy sprawled over one, and bis father ana the valiee eat peaceably together on the otbur. The boy looked out of the window for a few moments, and then, putting his hand in hia pocket, extracted a huge ginger cake. He hadn't any intention of eating it, however. That ginger cake made juet fifty pellets | the size of a marble, and of those fif< y onehalf Btruck the boy's intended victims the pedestrians on the sidewalk below. If the youthful sharpshooter could have) heard one-tenth of the unholy words thafe pursued that eWatecl train on fipcount of his " ginger cake " bullets, his happiness would have been supreme. As it v/as> his pleasure was marred, for the train whirled along so vapidly fchat he couldn't know certaiuiy whether bis f-hor.* took effect or not, and then, too, hie ~ire saw what he was up to, and remarked imprcHPiveiy that someone would be "walloped" if he dudn'fc behave. So tho young marksman, though pretend ing to wholly ignore his father's threat, discreetly drew his head in, and, settling himself into his seat, began 10 inspect tho occupants of the car, who for a long while had been interested spectators of his proceedings. One elderly lady in particular looked as if &he would like to give the youth a good old-fushioasd shaking. On her he fixed his ey< s. •'I say, pop," he exclaimed iv a shrill whisper, " what makes that old womanfe hair on the top of her head to black and those pieces hanging over her enra almost white ? Do yer s'po>o a burglar got into her room come nijiht an' the hair on her head turned white an' her falsa hair didn' ?" The elderly lady started and then pushed the tv o tell-tale straggling white locks back under her bonnet " Thomas " ?aid the agonifioJ father, "you shouldn't whisper so loud," But Thomas had steu soa*eiMn£ else. 11 0 pop," he exclaimed m a horrified] tone, " what is the matter with that youngj woman over there ? Look, she's got one real cheek and the other's white." " Thomas,' very eternly said the father in a Jow tone, as be leaned forward, and placed hi<? hand on the valise by way of emphasis. •'Now, I've got a pair of slip] -ere fc>r your ma in this valise, and don't stop -" "Now, don't say any more," broke in Thomas ; " I'l< stop tur sure, pup." " Well, you'd better. Nnw renißrabfirJ' lejomed "Pop. 'Abe boy subsided, and gnye himself up to tho joys of eating piizo conundrum lozengea, first learning by heart the conundrum printed on H<e wt"inpo r ,-• ffc er . silonce of seveial minuttr, dimu^ „Lich he regarded his " pop " furtively, he aeked in a timid, but anxious tone, •' Top, why isn't your beaid a board ?" "Thomas,'' leplied his f-ithor io a tired manner, " when are you going to stop asking questions? Of courts t<i>y ioea»d is a beard. What do you menn by such a. foolish question ?" " Why, I thought it was a lutJo reddish," innocently answered Ihe questioning youth. 41 Pop " was so overcome that he made n© respoo-e. Thomas had actually exhausted him-elf, and became very quiet, All at onco "pop" was seized with a hard fit of coughing. He coughed until everyone in the car was sure that he would burst a blood vessel or go into convulsions. "Thomas," he gapped in desperation, 11 what did you do with my cough medicine when you pocked my valise ?" " Put itatthe bottom, left side, "promptly returned Thomas. Out came a big bunch of keys, and, after a struggle, the vaiise was opened, and " pop's" hand dived down to the bottom, left side, but no cough medicine was found. " Oh, I cay, pop," said Thomas, " youV© got that valise turned around. I didn't pack it that way. The cough medicine's on the other side." With a muttered word that didn't sound just right the valise was whirled about. Fatal whirl ! The heavier side projected over the seat, and valise, cough medicine* and all took a plunge to the floor. Thomas grabbed at it with hia left hand and a look of. wild despair, but only succeeded in turning it upside down. A shaving-cup stood on its head, broke its handle, and rolled swiftly away under the seat, while the depraved and slippery shaving soap slid off on an ex* ploriug expedition in search of the North Pole down towards the end of the aisle* Clean linen laid itself down on the starched p>de on the very dustiest and dirtiest part of the matting. The cough medicine bottle burst into fragments and its contents were wasted on the desert floor. To make thfr whole circus complete, the guard called out, " Thirty Third Street." I "Thomas," cried "pop," in despair* " the next station id Forty Second Street, and we've got to get out thorr IMow jusfc you scramble around and help me to get) these things back into my valise." , | Thomas crawled under the seat and lassoed the ahaving mug, ond a eysopathetic passenger harpooned' the wandering soap with his penkniie.' "Pop" crammed what he could into .the valise, jammed some, small articles into "his pockets, and as tho train came tp a stop at Forty Second Street, he made a dash for the platform, the valise in one hand, a brush in the other, and thfe comb between his taeth. and Thomas following meekly after with the shaving mug. The passengers watched the procession dis-> appear and, wondered -whether Thomas would ever be President of the United States or a baseball club. — " New York Timeß."

Devilled Meat. — Ingredients : Cold meat, fowl, or kidneys, one teaapoonful of made mustard, two teaspoonsful of Worcester sauce, two teaspoonsful of ketchup, one teaspoonful of Chili \inegar, quarter teaspoonful of cayenne, one teaspoonful of salad oil, one small teaspoonful of lemon; juice, a little bit of butter, and a wineglass* fui of claret. Method : Cut the meat into dices ami lay it on a dish ; make a sauce of the above ingredients, pour this- "over it, and set it in a hot. oven fox* fifteen minutes, stirring frequently. Serve with mashed potatoes.