Robert at Cook's Little Swarry.

Te Aroha News, Volume IV, Issue 184, 25 December 1886, Page 3

Robert at Cook's Little Swarry.

How wunderfully suckemstances happens sumtimes wen one's a thinking of summit quite different ! Going to a hengagement aa I had last week at the West End, who Bhood I meet of all pussons in the wurld but my old frend the Cook of Portland Placo. Fansy meeting a Cook a taking a wark, and all in her close too, includin a bran new Bonnet just like a Ariggan's At, and not of a. Sunday ! I nivor was more eatonieli'cl, She cum up to mo with that particlar pleasing e mile as lovely woman allus wears when she's got a new dresa on, and meets a frend aa ain't. I felt jest a leetle orkard at fust, romembering the peeculier suckumatances under which we lust parted, but Bhe made no elusion to 'em, excep by saying, 11 If you'll promipe to behave yersel, we Bhall be glad to fcee you tomorrow night at our little Swarry as wt/re a tfoing to have as all the farnmerloys' out of town." Of couree I prommi Q fc to go, and go I did, and I dent no wen I've more injoyed myself. We had a puffecly lovely tea, with shrimps and sardeens and marmarlaid and soesidges, quite like the worry hiest Nobillerty, and a little drop of sometning nice in the lar?t cup. And then we had a little danae. I dansed with Cook, and Tommus, the tall horty footman, dansed with Arry--beller the Parler Maid, and our music was one of the worry finest Street Morgans aa I never herd, and played in such a maiaterly style ag would hive delitccl the Dook of Edin burrow, or any other werry fust-rate Musician. Then we had a little singing. Tommu3 &ang, "My Pretty Jane," which he gallarntly, for the occashun, turned into "My Pretty Arryheller," at which she amoat blueht. Then I sang ''Symon the Cellerman,"andnot to be outgone in homage to the Fare, I substitooted Dame Cooky for Dame Margery, but not with werry great eucksess, a=* Cook said as she thort as old Symon was a conceited old fool. However, I made up for it later ou by reading to 'em my bran new Romance, which I calls The Mystery of May Fare, " by one behind the Seens," which they all declared to be the werry thrillingest, and most exQitingest, and the shortest story of modern times. And as I quite agrees "with 'em, I thinKS as I shall werry shortly publish it. We then all pet down te Supper, jest a duzzen of us. There would ha' been 13 ! but Dook made young Buttons the Page set down in the ne\: room by hisselt, witch hs only consented to do on condiahun of having a hextra pot of plum Jam to hisself I was glad to see him sent out. It served him rite for larfiner at me and Cook, when we was a dancing. Tommus sa in his horty way, that nothink would have injuiced tiim to eet down 13, as the ony time he evor saw it done, a old gent werry nearly choked hisself with a fish bone ! witch of coarse was a warning to all of 'em. Being appealed to as one rayther perfensed in this kind of them, I told 'em my thrilling story ot the ex-Sheriff who went down all the way to Epping Forrest to dine, and being just a little late, the company was all eeated and wen he saw they was jest 12, and that he would make 13, he first turned garstly pail, he then turned on his eel, and, without one singel word of apolergy or egecuse, he returned to the place from wence he came, and acphally went without hia dinner ! All on 'em thort as this wa3 one of them hacts of self sacri fice as was wurthy to compare with any aa they'd ever heard on. The Butler, who ia rayther a littery man, said as it reminded him of Sir Philip Sydney's gallant acshun at the Battle of Waterloo. We couldn't have no more dansinsr 05 the Horganist hod left and taken the Horkestry with him, so that the Butler he brewd ua a perfecly lovely Bowl of Punch and we set round the table and told annecdotes. Sum was of rayther a startlin carackter, such as Tommus's tale of the last Darby, how he got the strait tip from the Dook of Westminister's Footman, and betted with a moat respectable looking gent on the course, and won sewen pound ten, which the gent paid him quite honerabel with a ten pound note, Tomraus giving him tho difference, and how arterwavds he saw the same roapectabel gent a being chivied by a mob without no hat, and his coat torn up the back, and all as he was told, becaupe he was a Welphinan, and how when he went the nex day to get his note changed he found as it was a forgery : He kindly forbode to repeat the langwidgeas ho used on that occasion, out of respec, as he said, to the Ladies, but we might bleove as how it was rayther powerful! I told 'em too or three sra°:geres about parst Lord Mares, witch was werry successful, but wun as pleased the Fare Socts most, was the account of how we take it by turns at the Man?hun Ouse, after ewery Bankwet to which Ladies of Fashun ia inwited, to have the fust go round the rooms with a dust-pan and a broom, to sweep up all the Dimons and ( other j&w&U as ike Ladies has dropt ; with sitch results sumtimes as would estonish 'em all did I dare menshun it, but we was all most eolleraly swore to secrecy ! They tried werry hard to make me brake my wow, but all in wane. So aa it was a gitting late the pollem Butler kindly wound up tho heavt ning by psrposing my elth as the Gest of the Party, witch he did in sitoh flattering turms as amost maid me blush He said among other things, as 1 hadded dignevty to my noble perfession, I trust I replied fittingly, as became my karacter and persition. The Butler told mo afterwards that he had seldom heerd sitch a speech, outside the Theatre, which cent me away emiling ana appy, for my xperience tells me as we all like a little bic of flattery, from the werry Meat to the werrywestoj, witch must inolude a good lot us, — on Robert.— "Punch.' 1 '