AT WYKE DORSET.

Te Aroha News, Volume IV, Issue 179, 20 November 1886, Page 7

AT WYKE DORSET.

In memory of ICniah Hari=dia. Also 4 soua who reoeivtd tho ahook. Whereof 3 liea hero and one 1 do nof. vvliiit caußed ihcir naverite fuv 10 weep? BccEiucOthat, cna liea iv the Deep,

m The first thing a man lakes to in his life is his milk ; the last i 3 his bier.

A big head is no more an evidence of bmins than a paper collar is of a shirt.

Felt slippers— Thoso felt by children in their rude young days.

The la?t height of impudence— Taking refuge from the rain in an umbrella shop. "

An old Yorkshireman uned to say, "I'm open to conviction, but I'd like to soe the man that can convince me."

It is claimed by some medical men that smoking weaken? the oyefight. Maybe it doe*-, bufc ju3t sco how it strengtheue the breath.

A Yankee editor, nbaorving that "The census embraces 17,000,000 vTomen," asks " Who wouldn't be a census ?" '

Sekreiz are a bad investment— if yu pass them yu loze the puocipal, and if you keep them yu lozu the interest on them.—" Joah Billinga."

If you want to toach a dog: arithmetic tie up one of his paw?, and he will put down three and carry oue every time.

The bost toasfc of the season vva», we think, Kiven by a printer, viz, " Women— the fairest work in nil creation. The edition is larpej and no man should be without a copy."

"How could you think nf calling auntie stupid ? Go to her immediately, sir, and tell her you a\e «orry." Freddy goes to auntie and sav S -. '• Auntie, lam sorry you are so ptupid."

" Student " wants to know whiit kind 01 a bird was the dodo. From the fact that the species is> entirely extinct, we suppose it was the fabled spring chicken, of which we still hear so often and see never.

Boarding-hou^e chicken soup can be made, it is said, by hanging up a hen in the sun so that her shadow shall fall into a pofc of sdlfc and water. The only tiouble is that on a cloudy day the soup is liable to be weak.

A good story is told by Moor?, in his diary, of a man telling a horse, and the would-be purchaser inquiring as to his leaping power?, asked, " Would he take timber?" "He'd jump over your head," was the answer ; "I don't know what you call that."

A testy old man went into his cellar with a handsome mng to draw somo beer. He stumbled and fell over a box. His wife called out, "My dear, have you broken the mug?" Smarting with pam, he replied, "No ; but I will ;" and immediately dashed it against the wall.

Two ladies got in a horse car and two young men Fat near. One man gave his seat at once to the elderly lady ; tne other kept his placa. His friend asked him disguising it, however, in German— why ha did not give his place to the young lady. He answered in the same language, " Becauso she is not protty enough." But, after a little reflection, he rose and surrendered his seat. The lady took it, and thanked him — in German.

The following is from a femafo contributor -. " Talk about female curiosity ; it's all one-sided. Lot one man stop in the street to spell out a sign on the top of a high, building, and every mother's pon that goes by will etand still and stare for ten minutes, trying to mako oub what the first idiot is looking at."