The Reel Opening of the Great Exhibisbun.

Te Aroha News, Volume IV, Issue 162, 24 July 1886, Page 9

The Reel Opening of the Great Exhibisbun.

In course I was present perfeshnaPy at the fust opening or the grand Colonyal an*! Ingian Exhibition, for whenever certain; importent gents is gathered together, and you want to make 'em comferal and good; natured, of courseyoumust give 'em summatr nice to eat and summat nice to drink, an& so in course you carnt do without waiter?,, Of course I am not eluding to yesterday's; opening, wen heverybody and en ny body could go in fcr a~ ginny, but the reel fuafc opening, about a fortnite ago, as was reserved for the gentlemen of the Press, or as one of 'em rudely called theirselves, the* Press Gang. I was standing quietly watoh.* ing their arrival, and thinking wot a jolly nice perfeesion theirs must be, always in. the best places and always well looked arter fc and nothink to pay, when there 1 occurct another of them wunderfool things as so*, offen happen to me. For seeing me standing there, looking with a degree of respec: amost amounting to haw at them as has it in their power to make anythink, however splendid, a failure, and anythink else, how* ever silly, a sucksess, who should take a_ site at me but Sir Cunliffe Owing, the Com-mander-in-chief of the whole blooming lot, and he says to me, says he, '* Come along* Mr Roberts, you are one of us, you know * ' I was so estonished that I reelly thinks as I almost blushed, tho' not quite used to ths blushing mood, as the Marehoness eaid yren she seed the new bally. However, I jinedi 'em in their journey ; but of course, as good taste dicktates, keeping at such a respeck^ fool distance as might lend enchantment to* the view. , The fust thing as we seed was summat asmade me turn pail with estonishment. Ifc is called "Jungle Life." Ab, it must be sumthink like life to live in a jungle like that. It chows you a reglar. thick wood itt India, with such trees and bushes as I never seed afore, full of a reglar crowd of elephants and tigers and snakes and bears and lojjpards and things. One of the Frees gentlemen kindly told; me the names of sum of thowerry strangest* bastes there, Such as the great bore, that everybody awoids, the cheat'em from Moa>aco, they covey's gammon, the bare singer* quite nude, the samburn, which wasn't a> bit like him, the porky pie, with his hookey nose, the buffer low, or low buffer, the allygaiters, but not wearing 'em, and the hog-k gieh dear, a large female feeder. My kind informant wanted to perswaoe me that a slippery, black-looking, slimy sarpent was a dyson, but I wasn't quite such a fool as to beleeve that, for 1 had jest before heard him called a piethon. Well, after this we set out on our travels, with our commander-in-cheif a leading the:, way, and me a bringing up the rear like a manger-general of the Commyserriet.as they calls the wittels and drink department ia harmy, Ah, what a traveller Sir Philip: must a bin ! Why, he guided us all through. Ingia, then through Africay, and then through all the Horsetralian Colonys, as if he had spent his life in each one of 'ens separately and knowed 'em all by ; art» And in each differing country he gave u& little 5 minute lectura that told us all about 'em, and I lernt more jografy, I think it's called, in that two hours voyage, then I hewer lernt in all my long life afore. Ah, wot he carrys in his not werry big head must be about enufffor a commander- in-chief anda Prime Minister and a Chancefoller of th§ Xcbecker all in won. I wasn't at all aware 'till then that Canada was quite so close to Queensland, but then we all lives and learns, hed waiters and all. When we was in Africa, which wasn't near so hot as I expected, my kind friend pointed out to me the dimonxl washing's, and showed me the holes as they took the werry biggest dimonds out of. J had jest a shadder ot dowt as to the strict* werassity of this statement, but he looked 8d serious and withstood my stern gaze so carrmy that I was forced to" yield. What struck me most when we got to? Mew South Whales was the pride as they takes in their galliant wollunteers. There; is a splendid large photygraff, about six or seyen teet high, with butiful likeneßeea og ewery one of the brave fellers as wollmi,.. teered to tite with us in the Suodang last year ; and this I will say,- that a finery lookin' set of smart fellers 1 never seed, nofe even at Holdyerehot; and what I should like to see dun wood be for the old coppera^ shun to give a grand bankwet of thanks to> as many of 'em as has come over, in their old. Gildhall, and I promises, in the name of my order, that we will all wolunteer to. wait on 'em for nothink, no, not ewen fox taking care of their at 3 ! I leaves to my brethren of the Press ths tarsk of describing the menny butifui things as< we seed, they're more used to that sort off thing than me ; but I quite agreed with th& gushing heditor of one of the papers who £ wentered to speak to on thesubjec, and who; said he was quite reddy to offer five ponys; or two that for wunderful works of Natur,, and butiful works of Hart, Bitch a collection: had 'never bin seen since hexebiehuns were first inwerited, for he knew as he should win, in a canter with both hands down. I didn't* like to ask him why he kept so many ponies,, he might have thought it rude, or why; should he put both his hands down when-, he won, he might have thought me big--norant; but to jest give a slite idear of the way they does things in Ingy, I may-' menshun, as there is jest a mere pidgin. house cent over, a sample that ie alt smothered over with butiful carving, andl cost about £5,000. ! When the gentlemen of the Press retired, to lunch, I accompanied them to the dore, but I knowed nay place better than to enter that abode of bliss, though by that time H was jolly hungry that 1 could ewen have eaten sum cold mutton, not that there was anythink of that sort there ; go I retired, to my propper place, gratefool tho' hungry. —"Robert," in Punch. ■*